All Is Well

I have been grappling with a tension that has been with me for some time, but is increasing as of late.  This has been a season of peace, contentment and even joy on so many levels for me.  Just letting go and living.
Increasingly thankful for Yaweh, work, for provision, for an amazing place to live, for freedom and that my kids and family are near...etc. etc. etc.

But.

In the background I am seeing my precious mama becoming more and more frail.
We still have outings, but we prefer for the most part to stay in the car - less effort and less chance of falling.
She's had this fainting/seizure thing that's been happening with increasing frequency caused by a severe heart block.  In other words her heart has strange rhythms and also, unfortunately, ceases to beat for certain intervals.  It can be fatal.

Then again, life is fatal.
We are all going to float up and out of these frail broken bodies at some point in time. But somehow knowing that a condition has the words "possibly fatal" attached to it makes it all feel so much more...imminent.

So right now we're waiting for the hospital to call to arrange for her to have a pacemaker inserted.  This should reduce and hopefully eliminate the fainting spells but it doesn't guarantee permanence.
Nothing does.  We'll all have to say "see you later" at one point.
But I'm praying that there will be an extension.  Because my mom is just so awesome and she brings a sense of balance and rightness into life.  She is the memory keeper for sure and she just has such a sensible and joyful outlook on life.

This whole tension was brought into focus afresh this past week.  We are mourning the loss and attending the funeral tomorrow of the 21 year old sister of Patrice's very good friend. This sweet young woman was so full of vitality and life and joy and Jesus. Such a shocking and sudden farewell.  She's off enjoying glory while her poor friends and family have to deal with this sudden void.

I guess I just have to write about this because as much as there is so much amazing goodness and life flowing around me all the time, I am also very aware of the whole "impermanence" and "life is full of death" thing that we have going on down here.  I wonder about how well I am living life and loving those around me. I hate to think that I would be full of regrets, so I just need to stay closely attached to my Jesus so that I am getting my cues from Him.  And obeying them.

I can be my own worst enemy it seems, fearing things in advance and letting unknowns rob my peace, but thankfully I am doing less of this as time goes on.
However, my mom? That's a big one.
I'm grateful that God has this under control.
He'll take me through that valley and meanwhile I want to be fully present, fully alive and fully loving.

And on that note, here's some of the life that's been going on this May... 

On my way to school one morning there were two parent geese walking on either side of their two teenaged geese.  They crossed the road very slowly together right in front of me and wandered safely off into the green yonder.

 Then when I got to school I found out that one of my lovely co-workers bought me salad rolls and peanut sauce for a treat.  Plus a homemade chocolate chip muffin for dessert. Oh my, such delicious love. 

 Her life fills me with courage and faith.  She was miraculously healed of most of the horrible effects of a concussion when a friend of mine prayed for her.

She was on disability and could hardly work anymore.  Now she runs around like nobody's business doing what she loves.  Working with the special ed kids and spreading joy.  

And here are Mom and Tante Hilda getting serenaded at the MCC store by a Hungarian man who played a pretty mean guitar.  

We had gone to visit Patrice who is volunteering there and to do a bit of shopping.  

On the way home we stopped off at the DQ for a dipped cone as it was a very hot day. 

 Friday Nights are the new Saturday Nights for the Gagenzeit crowd.  We're a pretty small bunch these days but we're still pretty amazing. 

Plus it's way easier to cook for a small crowd. 

Sue recently got the full time position of Children's Director at KGF so Saturday nights didn't work as well.  We're super flexible so we've shifted our gatherings to Fridays which seem to work equally well! 

On my way home...

It's teenage season in the animal kingdom.  These large lambs were both trying to nurse. 

I pick routes in town when I'm driving around that allow me to observe these peaceful animals.  Sometimes I stop and listen for the bleating of the lambs.  It just fills something up in me.  I think I'm going to be surrounded by many animals in heaven.

And they are going to talk to me.  

I can hardly wait to see what they have to say.  

This Rubenia tree in the front yard is spectacular so here is yet another picture of it in the setting sun.    

That's the moon up there smiling down on us. This same moon is smiling down on my dear Daniel and Nicole as they walk the last two hundred kilometres of the Camino.

My dear kids are on a pilgrimage  and I am praying that they would have an amazing encounter with God.