The Finish Line

Happy New Year!  

Crappy picture, but lots of fun was had by all.

Except Ladybug.  

I feel celebratory and oh so grateful as I near the finish line for 2014.
It's been SUCH an amazing year in so many ways.  Somehow I grabbed onto the "carpe diem" mindset and God made a way for me to experience Him and His goodness in such powerful and tangible ways in the last twelve months.  And I didn't have to be super spiritual or extra "good" to be able to experience His goodness.  His grace just flowed into my life because HE IS GOOD.  And I am GRATEFUL!

Even though my body has declined significantly over this past year, it has not held me back from doing the Word By Heart School in Hawaii or from making the pilgrimage to Jerusalem to take part in the Zechariah 8:22 Gathering and to experience the Holy Land.  Nothing stops us from moving ahead in God if we have willing hearts, because He is the one who fulfills His purposes for us!

Kind of like living a dream come true, but I didn't even have time to dream the dream.  There is something significant about that - like the "suddenlies" that we will have as the "plowman overtakes the reaper".

And even though I am heading into the cold winter months here in Kelowna, and my body doesn't respond very well to cold, I sense that I am to be here for this season.  He will provide grace for and possibly some reprieve from the cold.


I feel anticipation and expectation and I am pondering the words that are going to carry me into this New Year.

So far it has felt like  "SURRENDERED & EXPECTANT" are two of the banners over my life for 2015, but I feel like being aligned is somehow part of it as well.  And I am excited about the prophetic words that I have been reading about the coming season.  A season of light and miracles.  A season where we will run unencumbered and shoulder to shoulder with our brothers and sisters with God at the forefront.

One of Patrice's friends was just here telling me about a Bible plan he's on where you read through the Bible in 90 days and I just felt like that would be an awesome way to begin this Season.  So that's one part of this new beginning to broaden that place of truth beneath me.

I will not move forward in fear about my hands or my body, as this is simply God's little temporary vessel for my life on earth and He will look after what concerns me.  I will keep believing for miracles, even though I have seen so little actual evidence of the answers to those prayers.  We will do "the greater things" and it's simply up to us to pray and act in faith and believe.  Suddenly there will be miracles literally dropping out of heaven.

Because the years of prayers faithfully prayed and the generations of faith that have gone before have paved the way "for such a time as this".  All those times we just kept calling forth "that which is not yet as if it already were" will come into a season of fruition.

And this picture here below just kind of encapsulates the whole year.  These incredibly beautiful handmade mittens were sent to me by a very dear friend in Germany. So even though I am sitting out in the cold, my hands are sore and I am in a wheelchair, the truth of the matter is that I am surrounded by beauty, my sore hands are wrapped in love and warmth, I have a Moose that brings me so much joy, I"m in a wheelchair that has taken me to Hawaii and the Holy Land AND there is light on the horizon.

I am my Beloved's and He is Mine.

He takes very good care of me.  

Other December Delights

This snowfall happened two days AFTER Christmas.  The dogs are just loving the snow.  

I may have taken this picture in November, but it just looked so pretty so I snuck it into this mix.

Oh how I love my little nest here in the Orchard on the hill. And the drive down Spiers is absolutely breathtaking.  In any season.  

My new favourite game is Crib.  

The candle and yummy hot drink is an important part of the equation.  

Moose went to the hairdresser and got all prettied up for Christmas.  He is celebrating with his favourite toy. 

 One crisp December day the girls went out to enjoy some sunshine.  

And I had a most wonderful time with my butterflies.  They wanted to hear all about Israel and I was eager to share my adventures.

These gals really get it.  They listen to my heart from their hearts. 

It's a little piece of heaven on earth. 

Dinner at the Zeitner's.  Followed by a rousing game of Bingo!  I must be careful to clean those finger prints off my phone camera, although I must admit that it lends a steamy, cozy air to these shots.  

And it's Christmas!

Pretty much the cutest thing, these parents of mine!

Christmas Eve Dinner!  

We had red and green soup (beet borscht and cream of broccoli) to keep the Christmas colour theme.  Simple and delightful, because mostly it's all about the wonderful company! 

And of course the evening wouldn't be complete without having all sorts of dogs joining in the celebrations.

And CHRISTMAS MORNING with waffles and stocking time with the kids.  Always a favourite with me - so peaceful and gentle.  These kids are just so lovely. 

Nicole has fulfilled a long held dream and learned to play guitar! 

We carried on the general fun and frivolity and merry making at the Gagnon's where we enjoyed a huge turkey dinner.  They invited the whole crowd of us to join in with theirs.  The GagEnZeits +++  

So cozy, so delightful.  God's presence is so powerful in these dear humble people. And to think He engrafted me into their midst.  

Providence

This is a sweet season in so many ways.
The darkness with the twinkling lights and cups of steamy tea,
The gatherings of friends and family around tables full of goodness.
The services of worship and focus on that long ago event that has changed all of history and continues to permeate each day whether we are aware of it or not.

I've drawn back so much from the hustle and bustle, entering in only as need dictates and have been forced to keep things simple.
I'm unable to do so much of what I used to be able to do or what able bodied people can do, but in a way that is a gift.

It feels miraculous now when everything aligns, and I have the mental and physical energy to pull together some dear folks who, on fairly short notice make the trek up the long hill to gather in the cozy kitchen and living room to laugh together, sometimes cry together, pray together and remember.

Last night came together rather tenuously as I was laying in bed fighting a migraine a couple of hours before everyone was due to arrive. It was a small group of us from a mini church that met in our home about 24 years ago.

I lay there in bed shielding my eyes from the light, wondering how it would appear if I managed to get some goodies out on the table, welcomed people at the door, got the party going and disappeared quietly into my bedroom to nurse my sick head.

But once I got up and started moving, lighting candles, putting out the punch and starting the coffee my head cleared and thanks to some help from my dear housemates the place was prepared for a party and the guests began to arrive.

These are precious people, we share so many years of history and the love goes deep.  I believe any one of them would be there for the other in difficulty, even though we see some of the group only on these yearly Christmas events. And here we are sending a message to one of our tribe who moved to England many years ago and needs to know she is not forgotten.

These saints love God well and therefore they love each other well.  We're already seeing the next generation come along as one of the daughters arrives with her two children who are so excited to join in with the festivities hoping that Sara might show up for some fun and games, which thankfully happened again last night.

Just praying that God will continue to grant us this privilege as I feel that this kind of community and fellowship fuels us for the long hard journey that we are all on.

And I'm praying that God will strengthen me to do this more often.
Even if the setup is simple and my housekeeping skills don't shine.

As long as He shines and is welcome here, all is most well.

together long

super sweet evening with "old" friends.
i made a really delicious chicken dish since Patrice had amazing ingredients available.  kind of blew my own mind with my kitchen bravado.
stuffed chicken breasts wrapped in prosciutto

but best of all was the company.

two moms
two daughters
lots of history
lots of laughter

hard roads traveled
friendships nurtured
encouragement spoken
prayers prayed
scriptures shared

the daughters share a beautiful journey too.
right from conception and onwards, amazingly enough

always unfolding
always God.

IN this Season

Yesterday I had a sweet little luncheon for Oma, Tante Hilda and Annie.  Elsie brought the ladies up and we had such a lovely time together.  Sharing a meal, admiring Sara's hand painted Christmas ornaments and choosing our favourites and then ending with a time of prayer.  Sara has just adopted Oma and Tante Hilda as her own and she brings such joy into their lives.  It blesses me immensely.

It's just so special in this season of Christmas to light candles and share food and fellowship with good friends.  I don't know why it's so hard for me this year to organize parties and get people over here, but thankfully I had the wherewithal to get this little gathering together!

Such rich fellowship.
Such beautiful, strong, courageous women.
In their latter years their faith is strong and they are full of light.
Such a rich heritage and just so much goodness.

Together we worshiped the King.
Together we called out for His Kingdom to come into our lives and we cried out for the salvation of those in our lives who are lost.

He was in our midst.

Deeply Humbled

Still wanting to process some of my Jerusalem experiences.
The Gathering was such a highlight.  Usually I sat in the overflow room as it was easier to access and move around in. A nice big screen and good sound allowed us to easily follow and participate in whatever was happening just across the hall in the big theatre. However, there's just something about being right where the action is taking place.

The energy and first hand experience is that much more "accessible" so on the final night I had Hannah take me right to the front where I parked myself in an aisle beside some reserved seating.  There was nowhere for Hannah and Anita to sit so they went up to the balcony where more of their friends were and I remained close to the front.

Alone.

My choice, but still it felt lonely. I arrived with my heart literally aching, feeling the isolation my condition forces upon me as well as the "differentness" of my life and the burden that I feel that I am. It's a pretty big part of living with my disability - this being alone thing - but for the most part there is lots of grace and just a submitting to what is.

But this night I felt overwhelmed with sadness, so very aware of my personal darkness, those areas that I still struggle with. There was something so hard about being in the midst of this beautiful, vibrant, excited, huge multi national crowd and to be sitting by myself.  And I began to cry.

In the midst of this pain I bowed my head to pray and I felt the presence of Jesus come very near and sensed that He was kneeling before me to wash my feet.
It completely undid me.
That He would show up in that posture.
I didn't even know how to work through that picture, to go much deeper than sensing the beauty of His coming near to wash my feet.

Knowing He has already washed me and I am clean because of His blood,
But also knowing the need for daily communion and cleansing from the "experiential" daily dust and filth that wants to cling to me if I am not careful to stay present with Him.

I don't know, how does one compute that the King of the Universe, the Omnipotent One, the Savior, the Messiah, comes so near and bows to wash one's feet?

How?  How can one not break into pieces with humility and joy and be overcome with the power of this precious act?  And to top it all off I then sensed that He kissed me on top of my head saying  "I see, I know...".

Unworthy and deeply humbled am I.
And yet He comes.  So very near.  Wanting to touch those places that I would rather keep hidden.  Those places of pride and independence and self reliance.

His presence reveals and He comes to heal us in our brokenness.

Me in my brokenness.

That's how amazing HE is.  The great I AM.

The Desires of His Heart

I was just laying here meditating on Psalm 71 when I started thinking about some sweet experiences I had with the Lord while in Israel.

One evening we went to a Messianic church in Jerusalem and we were able to enjoy an extensive time of worship and intercession.  The message was about our unwillingness to really take the TIME to connect with the Lord - how we allow distractions to pull us away from extended times of prayer.

So, right there in church, they proclaimed that this was the time and we began to enter in.  I felt such ease and unction in prayer and I began to lift up as many people as crossed my mind before the Lord. By name, I listed the names of family members, friends and each of their children. I had such faith to pray for God to move in all of these lives.  It was marvellous.

There is just something so powerful about corporate prayer and worship.  It brings the tangible presence of God and increases our faith.

I was thanking God for allowing me the privilege of coming to Israel for the Gathering and just to see and experience the Holy Land, when I suddenly felt like he said to me "ThankYOU for coming".

Oh my word, completely undone.
I thought it was all about me just wanting to be there and Him granting me this request and suddenly He spoke those precious words.  It added a whole new dimension to the experience and I'm oh so grateful for a God who gives us the desires of His heart...

Slow Re-entry

I made it home.
Thanks to some good strong medication on the 9 hour flight to drown out back pain and the crying baby across the aisle.
Left me in a bit of a stupor so I don't know if I was really asleep or awake, but gently buzzed.
I finally really fell asleep on the final short flight home to Kelowna, but when they served us pretzels I was awake again.  Haha.
Sleep, elusive sleep...

What a treat to see Patrice at the airport and to be escorted home and tucked into bed by her.
It was better than Christmas!  What a very precious girl she is.
What a wonderful home I have.
Oh my bed and bathroom!!

It took longer than I thought it would to get back into the swing of things.
Between jet lag, hardly sleeping and getting over my cold I was feeling sluggish and completely unmotivated.

Plus my hands have been so sore since getting home and I'm trying to figure out what that's all about.
Perhaps the weather change, lack of sleep and deep cold snowy winter we've been plunged into here is affecting my joints.
I'm finding I want to cry, often, and I realize that I have been in a season of grieving another level of loss.
It took so much energy to get through life without my legs working and then when my back became so unstable it added another whole level of difficulty but my hands?
This one is a doozer.

So I must dig deeper.
Rest more.
Seek His face.
Refuse self pity.
Submit and worship.
Trust.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.

I'm grateful for the sweet Israel memories and pictures.
My heart is full of those experiences and at "book club" this week I was so happy to be able to share some of the overflow.

Finishing the Marathon

The last few days in Israel were a bit of a blur for me as my health was not good and I was sleeping very little.  Kind of a sad way to end the race, but I was grateful to still see a bit more of Israel despite my lagging body.

(These are LOADED date palms on the drive through the carmel mountains.) 

After seeing Nazareth we drove about an hour to a Kibbutz near Hannah's relatives where we spent two nights.  This was very close to Mount Carmel and I was thinking and reading about Elijah as we were there.

Anita in front of our tiny cabin and below is the breakfast spread. 

It is an area with more trees so I could imagine that it was pretty easy to obtain wood for those big fires that Elijah and the prophets of Baal built!  The huge sky was blue and I was also imagining Elijah sitting there and praying after he had told the King that it would rain.  Such faith.  He told the King it would rain and THEN he went and sat on the mountain praying for the rain, telling that servant to go and check for clouds over and over again.  Interesting order of events.  "Faith is the
evidence of things hoped for, the substance of things not yet seen..."

We drove to Haifa with Hannah's sweet auntie and enjoyed an afternoon in the sunshine on the beautiful beach.  This is where we drank our last cup of fresh squeezed pomegranate juice.  Oh so yummy!  We stayed to watch the sun set.

Sadly, I was feeling so poorly that I missed out on the family times with Hannah's relatives and spent the time resting instead.  I just can't keep up physically with everyone else and I have to be ok with that, but it's hard letting people down and feeling like you are the "problem child" that needs all this extra help.  If it was only myself that was getting "put out" it wouldn't be nearly so bad, but being the one that everyone else has to cater to is truly very difficult on the nerves.  Oh well.  Hannah was ever so gracious and she prayed for me in this regard.

We drove through Ceasarea on our way to Tel Aviv and I was mesmerized by the ruins there.  Wanted to badly to get out of the car to go and see the ampitheatre on the water's edge but it wasn't really in the agenda. The area was beautiful and I was so happy that we at least drove through it though so I could have another picture in my mind as I read through the Word to put events into an actual location.  Later at the hotel,Hannah read to me out of the book of Acts about Paul being imprisoned there for 2 years.

I just snapped these pics as we were driving through Caesarea, so they don't portray the beauty of the ancient oceanside port at all.  

The weather was getting progressively stormier as we drove on and by the time we got into Tel Aviv the wind was raging and the rain was pouring down.  Anita was an amazing driver and navigator on those busy narrow streets with honking cars.  I would never have wanted to deal with that kind of traffic but she was a trooper.

Tel Aviv was fun - right on the ocean and the wind and waves were wonderful.  We took a walk on our last night in Israel and enjoyed the beach, listening to a group drumming and watching the beautiful sunset.  We missed the actual Shabbat Celebration at the hotel which was my last chance to have one during my time there but we did get to enjoy the meal and a Messianic worship service following.  Beautiful to hear the songs sung in Hebrew with Hannah interpreting for me.

The next day dawned bright and beautiful.  We had a delicious breakfast at our rooftop cafe and then we headed to the ocean side for some time in the sun before we packed up one last time.  The beach area in Tel Aviv is truly amazing.  Such a progressive city with bikes to rent, lots of space to walk and wheel, grassy areas, beach tables and chairs and since there was lots of wind we enjoyed watching the wind surfers that were out in full force.

There was a cool "playground" exercise area for adults so Hannah and Anita had their morning workout.  

And so our time came to a close.  Anita and Hannah dropped me off at the Airport and my long journey home began.  The flights were made bearable with medication and I spent my 27 hour layover in London with Lorna and her family.  That was absolutely amazing as we hand't seen each other in 17 years.  We had so much to talk about and pray about and I had some time with her kids and husband as well.  We went to a cool little ancient British Pub for lunch and then it was time to rush off to the airport.

Truly a whirlwind visit (once again I was unable to sleep through the night - only getting about 1-2 hours - I think I was on overdrive and not able to settle) and before I knew it I was boarding the long flight to Vancouver.

And now I'm HOME!  Which is really, really awesome.