just today

There's a lot going on in my life right now - transitions occurring and looming in the fairly near future. Big decisions need to be made - one of them hanging over me this week - wanting a reply with increasing urgency. Someone is waiting for answer and I am not yet ready to give it as the situation affects my entire future. I need more time and I need more counsel - so this is what I will pursue.

I am incredibly grateful to my kind, kind Father for His constant and unchanging love for me, for His incredible promises and for His Fatherly advice. Advice that comes through His Word, the amazing circle of friends and family He has placed around me, His still small voice; His Spirit who counsels me in a multitude of ways. How rich i am, how blessed to have God as my Father, and to have Jesus as my Husband... He reminds me again, as He has so often in these last years that I don't have to look into the future and to figure all these things out now. I need only look at today - listen for His guidance, obey His promptings and abide. Abide. What a lovely, safe, comforting word. Let the sap of His life flow through me - giving the strength and wisdom I need. Giving WHATEVER I need! Oh how I love Him and nestle in close. Even with everything unresolved, there is always time, there needs to be the time to snuggle into Him and to hear His heart beat. Rhythmically repeating...all is most well, trust me, all is most well, trust me... Yes Lord. I will.

"This is why I tell you: 'Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear...your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore DON'T WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW, because tomorrow will worry about itself."
Matthew 6:25,32,34

Well that sure sounds good to me! I will do what God prompts me to do today, I will fulfill my duties with a" light step" and a trusting heart, and I will worship. Because..."I am certain that I will see the Lord's GOODNESS in the land of the living" Psalm 27:13

so therefore I will take His advice and:

"Wait for the Lord, be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14

How beautiful His voice, How edifying His Words, How wonderful His constant presence.

Happy Spring FOR REAL!!

I can actually say Happy Spring because the calendar tells me this is now a fact! And my world is slowly beginning to look like the season has changed. The grass is turning a lovely shade of green, the air is not so frosty (some days are even WARM!) and the birds are out heralding the season. I saw a little quail in my garden the other day and we've had the loveliest tiny birds at the feeder. The apple trees outside my office window stretch their naked arms to heaven eagerly awaiting the blossoms, leaves and finally fruit that will be blanketing them soon. I am so ready for a new season to begin and feel spring beginning in my spirit as well. I choose to embrace it along with my Lover who ordained the seasons...He calls to those of us who will listen, who have ears to hear:

"My lover spoke and said to me,
'Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.
See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their
fragrance.
Arise, come my darling; my beautiful one, come with me"

Song of Songs 2:10-13

What a sweet invitation - what a blessed announcement for those of us who have waded through a long, cold winter and have watched others struggling and fighting with the darkness and cold that a winter season can bring. The ones I have been watching and praying for have struggled with a winter season in the natural and the spiritual and my prayer for them is that the Lover will come and rescue them and breathe hope and warmth and new life into them.

**************************

It's taken me a long time to get here - and my fingers have been itching to tell some stories and reconnect with the few people I know that visit me here. I actually sat down on Sunday night and put together a long book review, looking up scriptures and working hard to get it all right and then I clicked on a key that I obviously should have avoided and half of the post disappeared! At this point I was so exhausted that I just shut off the computer and went to bed. I still hope to put the book review on here because I feel it is an urgent and compelling message for the Western Church and those of us who feel we are growing somewhat complacent in our walk with Jesus. The book is called "RESCUED" by John Bevere & Andrew Olson.

So - what has kept me away from the computer? (besides the fact that it's usually my daughter who is enthroned in front of this screen for hours at time) Well, we just finished Spring Break which was lovely - and this break from school contained my precious daughter's Sweet 16th birthday, sleepover parties for her, a bonfire with her school friends in our "backyard", company from out of town and a holiday at West Edmonton Mall. I returned home to days that were quickly filled with numerous important meetings etc. and am even now surrounded with a desk loaded with papers that need to get to an accountant (For the first time in my life I'm finally having to compile papers for personal income tax and it's a bit of a learning curve!)

So, there you go - I am alive and well on planet earth!! My washing machine just announced that it is finished it's job and it's time to load all those towels into the drier. I have a huge pot of soup simmering on the stove (added butternut squash & sweet potatoes which pleases me immensely - doing something relatively healthy and creative in the kitchen!) And my back is announcing to me that it is high time that I go and lay down to give it some rest. I will happily acquiesce!

HIS Beautiful Body

I was blown away this morning by the absolute BEAUTY of the BODY OF CHRIST...the church! I hear so much whining and complaining about the "church" not being what people want it to be so I just remind them that we are it!! I am the body, you are the body...we are the church. But, before I start to rant, I will get back to what touched me so deeply this morning when I was "at" church...

During worship I found myself "people watching" - we have a very unique way of doing church which I just love. The freedom, the movement, the color, the sound, the incredible spirit of excellence in those leading us into the throneroom. I felt so priviliged just to be a part of this unified, yet very individual act of loving on God. I realize that I need to be disciplined for the most part to focus on Jesus during this time (closing my eyes usually helps), but I was so smitten by the beauty I saw in His Body, that just watching felt like an act of worship.

So I drank in the beauty...watching the myriad of amazing different little scenarios in front of me...children dancing, playing, cuddling with their parents, wandering past and smiling up shyly at me. Living in the moment, learning by watching and imitating, just being, bringing great glory to their Creator. Individuals reaching up to God - loving Him, interacting with Him and losing themselves in the act of worship. The band suddenly stopping and allowing the Body to sing accapella..."I will give you all my worship"... The words being sung out into the cosmos...causing God to clap His Hands and throw back His head with pleasure. Ahhh, the amazing wonder that we can touch His heart and bring Him joy by gathering together in unity to tell Him how truly WONDERful He is.

Something that impacted me very profoundly was one family interacting with their handicapped daughter. It was so beautiful I was almost brought to tears...seeing how they loved her, held her, danced with her, kissed her and let her freely move from one to the other. The father held a large flag as he would dance around his daughter, letting her enjoy the motion and waving of the huge flag over her. Her older sister walking up to her, kissing her tenderly, continuing to worship and dance with her. Then she would wander over to her mother who held her hands, moving with her to the music and then embracing her - a long deep delicious hug that filled up her tank - this evidenced by the smile and laughter that would spill out of her. Her love tank was so full...she was so amazingly honest about her needs - and they were freely and joyously met. Her delight was obvious and such a pleasure to watch. How the Heavenly Father dances over us, waving flags of color, of victory, of deliverance...as he delights in us. May we have eyes to see so that we can smile into his eyes and laugh with delight as we enjoy the pleasure He takes in us. What a wonder, what a marvel...the beautiful, beautiful Body of Christ. Being made more beautiful in the midst of brokenness and humility.

I feel like I can't even begin to describe the beauty I saw in all that went on around me - worshiping in a different way, by watching. Seeing Jesus in the flesh - loving what I saw and being so happy to be a part of this amazing Body - the Bride of Christ. She who is being made beautiful through suffering, perseverance, overcoming and obedience. Beautiful because of that ultimate amazing sacrifice of her Lover Jesus.

Keep On Asking...

Spring is most definitely in the air - oh glorious sunshine, oh sweet blue sky, oh gentle breezes come to breathe hope into weary souls. Reminders that prayers long ago prayed WILL one day spring to life...just gotta keep believing and waiting and hoping. It will come. Just like this winter has felt endless at times, spring is moving in and taking over. YESSSS!!!

Was reading today out of Luke and came upon one of my favorite passages...the one that tells me it's worth hanging on - to believe that spring is coming even when it keeps snowing! To believe for miracles & answers to prayer despite seeing the opposite over and over again.

"So I say to you, keep asking, and it will be given to you.
Keep searching, and you will find.
Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds,
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened..."
Luke 11:9,10

If that isn't just the greatest news! At the end of that passage Jesus reminds us that God is willing to give the Holy Spirit to those who ask... Funny - when I read that whole passage I focus more on the asking, knocking and seeking - thinking of the different things I've been petitioning God for over the years. But I rarely ask for more of the Holy Spirit.

So today I ask for more of YOU - Precious Amazing HOLY SPIRIT. Cause You're the One who can help me to be conformed into the image of Jesus - you're the one who counsels, convicts, comforts and reveals Jesus to me. Pretty AWESOME!! Yeah - I definitely need more of You and so I ask for more. In obedience and in anticipation. I need a spring season in my spirit and You're the One who can cause new growth and the hope that accompanies the season.

Here's to GOOD HEALTH!

These days so much attention is focused on health, eating organic, exercise etc. etc. ad nauseum... I have no problem with striving to be healthy and taking care of one's body - it is the temple of the Holy Spirit and it is a precious vessel - a gift from God. However, to some degree it feels as if we've made the pursuit of health into some kind of god. If we (I) spent the same amount of energy pursuing our spiritual health - time with the Father, soaking up His life-giving and directional Word, meditating and worshiping I think we'd finally have the cart in front of the horse and our "outer health" & our view of it would more naturally fall into alignment.

Lest you think I am preaching from a high and lofty place, let it be known that I fall very short when it comes to my own health. I know that I have spent far more money than I should on "supplements" and various "regular" and "natural" health practitioners in my pursuit to stay somewhat healthy. I'm awful when it comes to eating properly on a regular basis. (Thus enter "THE SUPPLEMENTS" to make up for what I am too lazy to prepare the time consuming way). And as far as exercising I'm basically a non-participant due to living in a wheelchair and only sporadically doing the few exercises I am able to do! As far as spiritual exercises - I pray alot...but not in a disciplined manner. I read my Bible less often than I need to, but a little bit certainly goes a long way. Two verses I love that relate to our obsession with eating well and that remind us of proper priorities & why we should pray before or during eating:

"For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and
prayer" 1 Tim. 4:4

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" Romans 14:17

I have been amused in my "health pursuit" to find that I can get myself into a quandry rather than get myself healthy if I'm not careful. For instance - recently I came home exhausted, ready to fall into bed, but first I had to take my final supplement of the day (trying to accomplish an internal cleanse...I will not elaborate). I took the capsule and tried to swallow it...but found to my dismay that it had lodged sideways rather high up in my esophagus. Try as I might, I could not get it down. I could not even get it UP again!! It sat there, stubbornly unmoving...even when I drank hot liquids, cold liquids, hung my head upside down, and swallowed repetitively. Unfortunately it was enteric coated (meaning it felt like hard plastic - designed to open much lower down the system). My daughter was concerned watching my antics so I tried to appear calm and relaxed as I informed her that I was going to the Emergency Department to have it removed. I knew I couldn't sleep with that large object lodged so close to my airway so I took myself through the Triage stages in Emerg, feeling a bit like a small child that had stuck a pea up my nose or something. FINALLY, 45 minutes after "THE INCIDENT" I could feel the pill change it's position and slide further down the channel. I simply slipped out of Emerg with my newly aquired wrist band and drove home to bed. It was a long night with a painful esophagus and I no longer take those pills.

So last night, I had heart burn. Knowing the healing benefits of honey, I took a half a teaspoon full and immediately noticed that it had tried to progress down my wind pipe. I tried swallowing water, coughing & sputtering as the honey worked it's way completely into the wrong area. This went on for the rest of the evening, me trying to clear my throat to remove the irritant. Even as I sit here now, I am still aware of the rawness in my throat and am still making those little "ahem" noises again and again. What is it with me and swallowing?

I pray that I will not do myself in trying to get healthy!! The headlines would make for interesting reading: "Woman kills herself trying to get well" Good thing my days are numbered by God and I can keep entrusting myself into His care! Here's to good health!

Something FUNNY

Sometimes I'm just so full of myself - and not even aware of it - until someone points it out or my conscience finally catches up with my mouth and leaves me feeling somewhat foolish. This was brought to my attention recently - at that dinner with my very dear friends.

After the dinner with fine conversation and much fun & laughter, it was time to clear up the table. As I was watching my friends put things away, I began to wax elegant on some subject - I believe it was spiritual- and let me tell you, I must have really been in the flow. Because suddenly, their handicapped daughter who was off to my side and to whom I was not addressing the conversation, broke into my torrent of words and gave her opinion in no uncertain terms. (I am unable to understand most of what she says so I missed the message completely). Her parents both burst out laughing simultaneously and upon asking for the interpretation I found out that I had been asked "What the Hell are You talking about???!!!"

I thought this was hilarious and had to curb my amusement to some degree because they were trying to deal with the possibility of offense and bad manners. It was refreshingly real and honest - I actually enjoyed the question and it begs some serious thought. "What the hell am I talking about most of the time?" Are my words life-giving, focused on encouraging others or am I just trying to make myself sound or look really smart or spiritual or informed??? Once again I must repent of too much of me getting in the way of Him and utter that prayer that David prayed:

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be
pleasing in your sight, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalms
19:14

This beautiful handicapped girl touched my life deeply that evening - not only by her forthright comment, but with her cheerful presence, laughter, prayer and her most delightful personality. If I would only stop and listen more often I believe I would be a much better person for it. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry". James 1:19

And so I sit, gently corrected and pondering…