A Merry Little Christmas

Just so much joy and family and good food...
A very merry little Christmas was celebrated with family and friends and my heart is full and satisfied.

Christmas Eve-Eve at my nieces house,
A crackling fire, soup with the family and gifts for the little ones.
Excitement and noise and fun and laughter.

Christmas Eve so snowy and lovely
Watching skaters circle the ice rink downtown
under the festive lights in the winter dark.
Off to my sister's to sing carols around the piano
the flute and guitar chiming in.
German carols, English carols, goodies and tea.
A sweet Korean and Japanese girl joining in the fun and laughter.
Sharing stories, our homes and our hearts.

Christmas Day found me wrestling a big turkey into the oven at five am and then sneaking back to my cozy bed to finish sleeping while the house filled with the delicious aroma.
A sweet little breakfast with my dear daughter, Belgian Waffles and Chai Egg Nog Latte with a little gift exchange of love.  The most loving tiny Christmas card to warm my heart for many days to come.  I am loved and my heart is so full.

The long table is laid and the precious guests arrive bearing gifts and smiles and love.

So much goodness all circling one table, sixteen of us gathering to worship the King who came so long ago to save, deliver and redeem us.
Oh what a very great reason to gather, to remember and to celebrate.
To eat so much good food with exclamations of delight and thankfulness.

Making merry, the big gift exchange game, laughter and kids running here and there.  (my brother is so much fun as can be see by his antics above!)

In the midst of the merry making dear Alexia who had enjoyed excessive amounts of gravy and food with more gravy was feeling very ill and laying with her grandpa to recuperate.  Meanwhile little Luca had smacked his head on the rock fireplace and was being ministered to with an icepack.  Dear brother Nico was suffering the shame of "time out" due to his involvement with the head smacking.
Alexia lamented so sadly that there was no one to do their scavenger hunt due to all of the difficulties each of them was experiencing, but thankfully there was a miracle of restoration and resurrection and all the kids were prancing about once again.

Running here and there, finding clues and rejoicing with their found treasures.
The day felt complete and happiness reigned supreme once again.
Full hearts and hugs.
Farewells and everyone off to their respective cozy homes.

And for me the privilege of taking my loving brother and his wife to the airport, some sweet moments of reprieve to share our hearts before the final goodbye.

The drive home alone through the wintery stillness.
His presence filling the car and I, overwhelmed with His kindness, passion and
parts of His heart that He allows me to share and carry,
the tears, the intercession the hope and the glory.
Heaven came near.
Emmanuel in my car that night.
Emmanuel in my life.  Always and forever.
The hope and the glory.

Always clinging tightly
Always burning brightly...
My beautiful sister continues to overcome - her life such a sweet gift, a fragrant aroma.







And one last drive to be with precious friends
One last gift exchange, more laughter, more tea, more goodies,
Apples to apples and oh so much fun!

MORE LOVE!!
I am rich.  I am loved.
Daily I am, loaded with benefits.

This Sweet Season

It's snowy out there.
White and silent and cold.
So very lovely and otherworldly at night.
And inside we have twinkle lights and Christmas music.
Two tiny Christmas trees and two big stockings

One nativity where the manger is still empty, after all these years.
You'd think I'd have found a good baby Jesus by now
Since it's all about Him.
Funny that.
I purchased the nativity at a very discounted price because of the absence of the
main CHARACTER.
It doesn't really matter until Christmas Eve
Which is when he should be found in the manger.
I'll have to do something about that.
One of these years...

But we don't forget about Him.
And the big party is coming.
Family is gathering, but sadly there has been sickness
interfering with plans and visits, but we're all accounted for which is good.
We're making the best of things and hopefully we'll all be good by Christmas Eve.

Meanwhile I've been using my sick time at home to rest up.
And today I was well enough to get my yearly newsletters addressed and stamped.
Our story will wing it's way to mailboxes and into the warm hands and hearts of friends and family, far and wide.
Others will be sent by e-mail, messages of love and stories of the year.
And I in turn eagerly read the missives sent my way,
Happy to hear stories of the ones I love.

Gifts have been purchased and packaged.
Sweet anticipation of the gatherings of young and old.
Family and friends.

My beautiful Savior will be celebrated.
Not forgotten in the partying.
The old carols cause tears to well
The candles spill their light into the darkness,
Just as our Jesus came as a light into this world.

Oh what a glorious story.
The humble beginnings, the horrific climax, the magnificent miracle of resurrection and the soon and coming reunion.

magical snow day

It's just the loveliest day.
Snow gently falling, carols playing, lights shining.
Hot cups of tea.
Birds busily hovering around the feeders, so much life!
It's warm in here and I'm so grateful for a quiet December day.
Cleaning up remnants of a lovely Christmas gathering with dear friends from last night.
Resting, reading, praying.
Thankful.
Tonight we celebrate Dad's 87th birthday.
Let this be the day of favour of our God in his life.
Let this be the day of revelation and salvation.

Breathing, praying, tears, joy, gratefulness, longing.
It's all tangled together in this thing called life.

But there is more...

Twins... Sisters?

Sometimes something can be really great for someone and that very same thing not so great for someone else.

Well, it's like this.
I was 28, almost 29 when I gave birth to the most precious daughter God could have given me.
At this point in time I was ginormous next to her sweet smallness and I revelled in being her momma and everything wonderful that comes with that calling.  I had no problem with people recognizing me to be the older one in the equation.
It was right and good.

The years passed and she grew in wisdom and stature and I continued to remain the familiar matriarchal figure.  (hopefully not growing in stature, but very desirous and prayerful about growing in wisdom as this is a quality much desired as ones children strain towards those tumultuous teenage years)
We survived these years and the beautiful daughter reached her 20th year.

I recall the very store we were shopping in when I was first asked if she was my sister.
My SISTER!!
I was ecstatic!!
I took the whole thing in stride though, realizing that the one who asked this question was quite a distance away from us and was probably unable to see my aging complexion and grey roots.
It was still a major boost for me though, as I have often been confused as the older one when it comes to my sister and I when she is in fact 5 years older than I am.
I did not take this as a compliment.
My sister (who is not only very pretty, but also very youthful looking) would try to console me by telling me that this was because I had led a very hard life.

Since that first innocent query from a stranger my daughter and I have been asked more times than I can remember if we are sisters.
In fact, many times the sincere question is "twins, right?"
These people all immediately become my new best friend.

I cannot help but feel extremely sorry for my daughter, as she is lovely and young. Perhaps because I am permanently sitting it adds a youthful flair to my appearance?
Actually there is no good explanation because I really do not look young, but the long hair, face shape and similar mouth seems to trigger people to ask that question that is now really beginning to annoy my girl.
She is so over it.
But it just keeps happening.

Can't say I blame her but it has been an immense boost to my self esteem.
Immense.
This probably won't be happening for too much longer so I'm just going to enjoy the novelty and feel as young as possible now that I'm fifty.
Smile.

First Advent

Early morning darkness
Drops of rain pelting on my window
Fighting a migraine and medicating myself AGAIN. (fifth time this week!)
Crawling back into bed and luxuriating in the thought of my imminent rescue from pain and in the warmth of my cozy quilt and dear doggie.
And VOILA ... the medication worked...
A resurrection rescue of sorts.
A leisurely shower was taken and my Sunday began.
My plans to attend the Anglican Church will wait for another time.

Dropped something off for my dear friend in Istanbul -
a little Christmas treat that will be hand delivered to her!
Happy Thought that is!

Since it was First Advent and I know that is important to my  mama I arranged to meet my son there for lunch. (his lovely wife is in Vancouver)
Opa had the food ready and we shared a delicious meal of chicken and potatoes in the dining room on the nice plates when Oma got home from church.
Ah these sweet blessed traditions and familiar routines.
I am blessed beyond measure!

Decorations were hauled out and dear Daniel with his remarkable height happily put the familiar and warm Christmas decor on the walls and tables.
Apparently the tree had gone missing. Ha - one of my Dad's hobbies and passions is ridding the home of anything deemed unnecessary!
I guess I'll be dropping another little tree off to brighten their living room and if I declare the tree to be mine, on loan to Oma, hopefully it will not disappear.

Somehow with Oma moving more slowly and painfully now it just comforts my heart to know her home looks cheerful and there is little decorating work for her to do.
This progressive slowing of function and increase of pain is difficult to watch,
I realize I am adapting to the transition with some difficulty as she is much more resigned to the losses and narrower lifestyle that result.
She has learned to be content and radiates a sweet spirit despite the difficulties.

I dropped her off at a German Christmas Carol program, happy that she would be amongst her peers and doing what she loves on this First Advent.

I drove off, treating myself to a $1 mocha and a drive through the beautifully sun drenched valley.
Nothing felt like winter as the day was warm and I felt simply spoiled to have the privilege of taking myself on the scenic drive.

The sun sunk over the hills so early in the day
I was tucked into my warm home, pulling out a tiny tree, excited about the twinkly lights that would add to this season of Advent.
A perfect season to be celebrating the coming King of Light

My little tiny tree is now sparkling with lights in the living room and a tiny stocking stocking is hung.
Tradition.

I am so glad this dark cold season is liberally sprinkled with so much light.
Colorful displays are appearing all over the city
It makes my heart happy and I know how badly I need light.
I am so glad He came into my dark world and shone that light of healing into my heart.
He is the Light of the world.
And of my world.

Hallelujah - Amen!

Here and Now

I wouldn't have guessed this particular scenario ten years ago...

My home filled with three lovely young women
Our four lives intertwining and connecting over kitchen conversations, meals, gathering leaves, baking, knitting, watching movies, sharing big bowls of popcorn, making special drinks and always, always finding something funny and sweet to laugh about regarding the two doggies.

Always we are free to go our separate ways, experience life and return full of stories or silence to participate again in this little "family' that God has created for us right now.

There is a wholeness and soundness and comfort in this...
Community.
How good and pleasant it is when sisters dwell together in unity.
Truly it is good and pleasant and I am blessed.

Knowing it is always just a season
And I must drink in the moments and revel in the laughter and youth that surrounds me.
Not comparing to what could be or "should be" or what is happening in other homes.
Just plain thankful for this warmth.
Life around me.
Here and now.

I am not alone.

Book-ish Club

So last year I was invited into a "Book Club" with a group of ladies whom I just adore. I felt very privileged to be asked to join this group and I entered in with great enthusiasm as I am wont to do when there is a possibility of fun and food and fellowship.

These are all found in great abundance at our gatherings.
The books?
Well, not so much, but that doesn't seem to bother us.  At least not too much.

We're happy with the wine and appies and the opportunity to unburden ourselves of life's many conundrums in the presence of other women who also happen to love books.

As long as there is a book within sight or some conversation surrounding something literary we are quite happy.

Surprisingly, at our last gathering (the one where there was no book assigned whatsoever) one of our talented members surprised us all by saying she had written several short stories.  She proclaimed she was not a writer and couldn't read well, both statements which were completely untrue as we were soon to find out.

When we finished laughing rather uproariously about the antics of one of our member's  husbands (something involving bright white runners and an unmade bed) we finally wiped away our tears and settled down to have a good listen to our apparent "non-writing" "non-reading" friend.

Our attention was captured with the first line, read quite beautifully I might add with a lovely South African accent, and our attention was held until the last syllable was uttered. I was literally stunned at how well the story was executed using wonderfully descriptive words and a captivating story line.

To think we have a budding author in our midst!  I foresee publishing and an audience hungry for more, as we all were.

As if this wasn't enough literary excitement for one evening, this delightfully shocking discovery was followed by another.  Apparently the bravery of one literary genius gave courage to another and soon we were hanging onto the words of an incredible poem which had been written by another one in our midst on Remembrance Day.

The stage was set, the drums played and the words created a magnificent percussive scene of warfare and courage.

Obviously we don't need to travel outside the bounds of our own members who have hidden talents to find literature bound to inspire and challenge.
Most likely there will be more to come and the excitement mounts!!
Who will be the next emergent artist in our ranks?

We will continue to drink wine, eat goodies and laugh until they shake off their fears and apprehensions and reveal their identity as closet authors!

Heavenly Daze

Well!

Following that last rather morbid, pms induced posting I was lifted far above my apparent mundane and earthbound miseries with a surprisingly delightful day.
Heaven kissed earth in my wee realm and I must relate the tale as a "stone of remembrance" of sorts.

Thursday afternoons are set aside to pray with a dear friend who is dripping with grace and kindness. She enters my room with her sweet smile and gentle presence and we present ourselves to the King for His good pleasure.
These afternoons alone are an appointment with heaven and we enter into that throne room to kiss the King and to intercede on behalf of so many precious saints and not yet saints...
Together our faith is BIGGER and we love to stand in agreement with whatever Jesus is up to as much as we are able.

The followup to the prayer session included some rather extravagant giftings for no apparent reason at all.
Just because He loves me...
I have a month of free massage - IN THE COMFORT OF MY OWN HOME!!!
I also get four hours of housecleaning this week and I am so excited to get things done that are kind of hard for me to ask my housemates to do.  Asking is not my strong point and for some reason this good stuff just got dumped on me.
Showers of blessings indeed!

To top off the gifting session, the "final door" opened for me contained a trip via private jet to CALIFORNIA!!  With my dear praying friend and several other great people.

A private jet - no joke!!

Oh my WORD!!  Outrageous blessings for no reason at all.
That's what kind of gets me in all of this.
I'm used to getting and giving things "in season" as it were.  Having grown up in a good Mennonite home, extravagance was not the common practice, even though I always had more than I needed.
We just learned restraint and the discipline of delay was somehow strongly bred into this little mare.

Needless to say I was blown away and have been carrying this treasured anticipation close to my heart.
Even if it doesn't happen, the offer, the possibilities, the dream of it all is just over the top wonderful.

Cold and Raw

Kinda raw these days.
Overwhelmed by so much in life.
Wondering how it's all going to pan out.
Reminded to trust but finding it hard.

These unruly thoughts are hard to reign in,
especially in the night.
So I gratefully pull out my computer ( new macbook air - a delight and so much easier on my shoulder and elbow - ahhh so many good gifts) and put on a story or sermon to replace my troubled, frantic thoughts with goodness.

Such weak frail creatures we are.
So prone to self seeking and absorption.
I am mortified as I look back over years spent serving myself.
Saddened by sins of omission.
By my cold heart.

Missing the tangible presence of God.
Lonely in that deepest place.

Crying out for revelation, for faith to keep standing.
Crying out for those around me
So many in the midst of long, dark struggles.

Reminded by my dear struggling sister that the enemy
is attempting
at all times
to wear down the saints.
Wearing us down is his plan.
THEREFORE
there must be much Vigilance to recognize the lies
that come disguised in hardship.
Diligence to speak out goodness, truth, gratefulness.

Close the door on self pity, fear and sorrow.
Though the fig tree does not blossom...

Because seriously, the goodness that presses in on me,
from all sides (if I have eyes to see, and ears to hear)
is truly most overwhelming.

If I have eyes to see.
Oh Lord, open my eyes, open my ears
To see even more of your goodness.
To fix my eyes on that goodness till my raw, cold heart
Is healed and whole and laughter fills my mouth again.

Even if it is gloomy and cold and snowy.
The good news today is there is lots of dripping and melting going on out there.
I just witnessed it when I took the dogs out for a little romp.

too soon

This happened yesterday...

Beautiful, yes?  But far too early in my humble opinion.  The leaves are still on so many of the trees!  Time for the snow to melt and we can get back to fall....

Pumpkin Fest

We had so much fun with the little people and the pumpkins last night.  My back was in horrible spasm and all I wanted was to be crawling back into my bed but it was so worth getting up and getting the pumpkin fest HAPPENING!!  Yeah for fall fun and family gatherings.  

outrageous beauty

I have been smitten with the beauty surrounding me in this glorious season!
On my drive home from school I take my time crossing Mission Creek - even stopping on the bridge sometimes if there are no cars coming and drinking in the beauty of the huge yellow trees overshadowing the water and rocks that wind through the little valley.

I slowly make my way up the hill and through the orchards admiring the ever changing palette of stunning fall colours.  The grass is still green, there are golden, red and orange bursts of colour in between the orchards (most of which aren't terribly exciting in the fall, unfortunately).  The vineyards are yellowing and the long rows of vines, most stripped of their grapes, stretch off into the cool distance.

And now there is snow.
As I lift my eyes from the stunning colours around me I see the beautiful mountains topped in cool white.
Two seasons moving across the landscape, the one making room for the next.
Fall is giving it's grand finale, first kissing the trees with frost induced fiery colours and then stripping them slowly of their lovely leaves.
Winter is hovering over the valley giving a gentle warning of it's imminent arrival...

Days are shorter, the air crisp and fresh.
We are tucking in, happy to make tea to warm our hands after arriving home.
Adjusting to the long dark evenings and the early nights.

I"m so happy to have these three lovely young women sharing this cozy home with me for this season.  Such good company.
Sometimes I lay in my room listening to them laughing in the kitchen as they create scrumptious snacks and talk about their day.

I'm trying to find a balance between spending so much time laying down in my cozy nest and getting out to visit my mom and auntie.  It's far too easy just to stay home rather than to heave this body out to brave the cold and cheer their day.

And I LOVE MY JOB!  Working with the sweetest kids, teaching them to read with a schedule that fits me quite perfectly.

I can't say I'm looking forward to winter, but the trick is to live in this moment, in this day, enjoying all the beauty and goodness and not worrying about what is coming next.

There will be multitudes of beautiful moments full of so much goodness in the winter as well!

Inspired

I'm just feeling the delightful rustling of inspiration inside of me.
After reading someone's blog and investigating their list of "100 things" I realized that it's probably really healthy to have loads of goals.  Her list was more of that than things about her.
And that made me realize that I too, despite my physical limitations
(and what often feels like some real mental limitations as well) can dream big!
There are lots of things I love and would still like to do.

During my last bout of pain induced fear, when so many body parts were inflamed and causing me to shout out in pain while moving, I realized I was mentally shutting doors to dreams I've had.  I was feeling sad about the seeming impossibility of doing what I love most and losing hope

However, even though my limitations are fairly life altering, I live in a place where they are made far less than  if I lived almost anywhere else in the world.

So that's something pretty amazing and I know I'm incredibly well looked after and incredibly loved.
Which is also completely mind boggling and amazing.

So now that I have a group of professionals looking after my wheelchair concerns with me, hopefully I will be sitting a bit more comfortably and safely in the next season of life.
I just can hardly express how happy I felt when these professionals were discussing my needs and physically figuring out what my body was capable of and where its strengths and weaknesses were!

Finally I wasn't so very alone in trying to figure out this mess on my own.
And even though there are serious considerations to be taken into account, we're doing it together and I have fresh input and some new ideas are forming into new a new seating plan.  The gravity induced scoliosis is more or less corrected with a riser under my right hip and the backrest has little side flaps that hold me in place so I don't lose my blanace now that I am sitting up straighter and not sinking back into a soft backrest.

And there you have it.
I have been rescued and inspired.
The list will be forming.
I am eager to dream again,
To resurrect recently buried hopes.

Interestingly enough, at my every second Tuesday night ladies supper group, we are creating vision boards and I have been pasting pictures of all the things that I love and that are important to me on it.  I will try to add a picture of it here when I am done with it.

So basically I've already started my list...
More to come!

Thanking Through Tears

Oh wonderful Thanksgiving!!
It's a pretty sweet holiday and kind of funny too.
Gathering around a big turkey.
Which speaks of our plentiful bounty, I guess.
And I'm pretty stoked about turkey, potatoes, stuffing and gravy with all the extras.
I was able to enjoy THREE turkey dinners - all in fine company, all hugely delicious and I only had to roast one of them!!

It's been such an easy season to give thanks.
There is so very very much to be thankful for!
And the more thankful I am the more I see to give thanks for!
But then again, I live in Canada so it doesn't get much better in my humble opinion!  ha!

So once again we gathered around the enlarged dining room table that is as old as I am.
Fourteen of us.

Family.  Oh precious, precious, diverse and unique family.
With some wonderful extras thrown in.
Even a sweet gal from Japan called April enjoyed the turkey with us.
At least I think she enjoyed it as she cleaned her plate well.  I did have to take the time to explain the extreme importance of gravy in the equation and she let me administer the sauce to keep everything lubricated.
We also have a new "housemate" named Becca who is already proving to be a sweet addition to our little family.  She fits in beautifully and I feel like the Lord sent her here.

Hearing Tante HIlda's cheerful little laugh brought tears to my eyes.
She was brave enough to venture out despite loads of pain.
Both her and mom had taken their painkillers and were able to enjoy the gathering much to our very great delight.
So, with all my wonderful kitchen helpers, the turkey marathon was run once again and we enjoyed a true THANKSGIVING FEAST!

We also celebrated the two birthdays of the two lovebirds.  Now they're 26!

Reading the carefully chosen, meaningful cards aloud is very important to Tante HIlda and Oma so the tradition was carried forth.

Opa likes to retire to the living room when the noise gets too much for him and there he finds one on one visiting to be much more enjoyable.

We finished the evening with some hymns and a short piano recital by the youngest member of our gathering.

These KIDS!!!

I'm back at work!
Just so thrilled to be meeting with these fresh eager faces.
Helping these precious kids to figure out the wonderful world that opens to them when they can decipher sounds and letters and decode words and ultimately fluently read sentences and books!!
And I have a co-worker who is training under me.
It's just so great not to have to try to carry this whole load all by myself.
She is such a kindred spirit.
A lover of God.  Trustworthy, faithful and kind.
I am amazed at God's goodness and provision for me.

The kids are absolutely delightful.
Different nationalities and personalities and shapes and sizes.
Smiling eyes and wiggling feet...
They just love the little raindog that "poops" out jelly beans when they press his little tail.
I provide the sound effects which they find extremely amusing.

I have such a responsibility.
To encourage, to bless, to love and to teach.

I pray that I will be able to teach with excellence.
Here's to another wonderful year!

A Way of Escape

I have been tempted to despair as of late.
My back has become so crooked and painful while I am sitting due to lack of muscle control that I am not able to stay up for long. I canceled a trip to Oregon because I couldn't imagine sitting in the car for the long drive and my impinged shoulder was causing me lots of grief.
Now both of my shoulders are in considerable pain due to?? changing posture?? new exercises?!
My left thumb somehow got badly sprained and my left elbow is intermittently giving out on me.

It's pathetic.  I'm trying to figure out how to do life right now with so many important parts not working.

Very slowly.
With lots of down time.
Lots and lots.
While taking notice of how incredibly wonderful my life really is.
Like my dear daughter laying on my bed with me, just being her.
We laugh about the dogs and chameleons and lots of other things.
That is beyond wonderful.  She is a very, very dear daughter & friend.

My son came up tonight with his sweet wife and brought me some earrings he has been working on for a long time.  Hours of carving and sanding and layers of staining to create these precious little walnut masterpieces that mean the world to me.
Because they were made for me by him.

Friends in my kitchen, gathered around my table.
Saturday night.
Sharing a meal and sharing life.

A visit to my auntie's with my mama and sister.
Singing hymns.
Talking about God.
Being thankful together.
Praying.
God has surrounded me with a cloud of witnesses in the air and with strong warriors here on earth.

I have one powerful heritage.
God knew what I would need.

In allowing the suffering HE HAS MADE A WAY OF ESCAPE.
Escape from self pity and bitterness.
Escape from the plans of the enemy.
A way out of the darkness and into His glorious light.

"When we walk with the Lord
In the Light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way...'

Yes, He sheds glory on my way.

Through family.
Through friends who call and pray because God has laid me on their heart.
Through lovely surroundings that minister to my heart and soul.
Through amazing provision.  Daily bread.
Through dreams that I still carry in my heart, even though some of them seem to be getting smaller and harder to imagine.
With Him nothing is impossible.

So I go to bed with a full heart.
Grateful.
Content.
Living in this moment.

Crunchy & Delicious

 Would you just look at this?!  What kind of miracle is it that these juicy orbs of crunchy deliciousness are hanging off trees all over the place around here?  Right in my backyard!!  And the flavour?  JUST OUTRAGEOUS!!

 And the sunshine, the color, the snell, the richness of the season.  Wowsers!!  I love fall...

And the wonderful big wooden bins waiting to collect the harvest...

 And if it's this beautiful and amazing down here, heaven is truly going to be something none of us is going to want to miss.

 It's wise to be aware of the seasons... for him who has eyes to see and ears to hear...

Better keep our eyes open cause there's going to be a big wonderful surprise arriving shortly...