All Is Well

I have been grappling with a tension that has been with me for some time, but is increasing as of late.  This has been a season of peace, contentment and even joy on so many levels for me.  Just letting go and living.
Increasingly thankful for Yaweh, work, for provision, for an amazing place to live, for freedom and that my kids and family are near...etc. etc. etc.

But.

In the background I am seeing my precious mama becoming more and more frail.
We still have outings, but we prefer for the most part to stay in the car - less effort and less chance of falling.
She's had this fainting/seizure thing that's been happening with increasing frequency caused by a severe heart block.  In other words her heart has strange rhythms and also, unfortunately, ceases to beat for certain intervals.  It can be fatal.

Then again, life is fatal.
We are all going to float up and out of these frail broken bodies at some point in time. But somehow knowing that a condition has the words "possibly fatal" attached to it makes it all feel so much more...imminent.

So right now we're waiting for the hospital to call to arrange for her to have a pacemaker inserted.  This should reduce and hopefully eliminate the fainting spells but it doesn't guarantee permanence.
Nothing does.  We'll all have to say "see you later" at one point.
But I'm praying that there will be an extension.  Because my mom is just so awesome and she brings a sense of balance and rightness into life.  She is the memory keeper for sure and she just has such a sensible and joyful outlook on life.

This whole tension was brought into focus afresh this past week.  We are mourning the loss and attending the funeral tomorrow of the 21 year old sister of Patrice's very good friend. This sweet young woman was so full of vitality and life and joy and Jesus. Such a shocking and sudden farewell.  She's off enjoying glory while her poor friends and family have to deal with this sudden void.

I guess I just have to write about this because as much as there is so much amazing goodness and life flowing around me all the time, I am also very aware of the whole "impermanence" and "life is full of death" thing that we have going on down here.  I wonder about how well I am living life and loving those around me. I hate to think that I would be full of regrets, so I just need to stay closely attached to my Jesus so that I am getting my cues from Him.  And obeying them.

I can be my own worst enemy it seems, fearing things in advance and letting unknowns rob my peace, but thankfully I am doing less of this as time goes on.
However, my mom? That's a big one.
I'm grateful that God has this under control.
He'll take me through that valley and meanwhile I want to be fully present, fully alive and fully loving.

And on that note, here's some of the life that's been going on this May... 

On my way to school one morning there were two parent geese walking on either side of their two teenaged geese.  They crossed the road very slowly together right in front of me and wandered safely off into the green yonder.

 Then when I got to school I found out that one of my lovely co-workers bought me salad rolls and peanut sauce for a treat.  Plus a homemade chocolate chip muffin for dessert. Oh my, such delicious love. 

 Her life fills me with courage and faith.  She was miraculously healed of most of the horrible effects of a concussion when a friend of mine prayed for her.

She was on disability and could hardly work anymore.  Now she runs around like nobody's business doing what she loves.  Working with the special ed kids and spreading joy.  

And here are Mom and Tante Hilda getting serenaded at the MCC store by a Hungarian man who played a pretty mean guitar.  

We had gone to visit Patrice who is volunteering there and to do a bit of shopping.  

On the way home we stopped off at the DQ for a dipped cone as it was a very hot day. 

 Friday Nights are the new Saturday Nights for the Gagenzeit crowd.  We're a pretty small bunch these days but we're still pretty amazing. 

Plus it's way easier to cook for a small crowd. 

Sue recently got the full time position of Children's Director at KGF so Saturday nights didn't work as well.  We're super flexible so we've shifted our gatherings to Fridays which seem to work equally well! 

On my way home...

It's teenage season in the animal kingdom.  These large lambs were both trying to nurse. 

I pick routes in town when I'm driving around that allow me to observe these peaceful animals.  Sometimes I stop and listen for the bleating of the lambs.  It just fills something up in me.  I think I'm going to be surrounded by many animals in heaven.

And they are going to talk to me.  

I can hardly wait to see what they have to say.  

This Rubenia tree in the front yard is spectacular so here is yet another picture of it in the setting sun.    

That's the moon up there smiling down on us. This same moon is smiling down on my dear Daniel and Nicole as they walk the last two hundred kilometres of the Camino.

My dear kids are on a pilgrimage  and I am praying that they would have an amazing encounter with God.

  

What is Truth?

It's been gloriously hot this past week.
The kind of hot where I need to turn on air conditioning in the car and where my laundry drys almost as soon as I hang it out in the sun on the patio.
The heat that brings out roses and a myriad of other flowers and is making parts of the lawn turn yellow where the sprinklers aren't managing to strike.

The hot that lets us sit out on the patio in the evening watching the sun paint streaks of purple and pink in the sky as it dips down over the mountains.

Although it's only May, apparently they are forecasting a super hot summer...reminding us all that fire season has already begun.
But today in church the sounds of crashing thunder interrupted our meditation on Psalm 33 as sheets of rain began to pour out of the sky and onto our thirsty valley.
The youth were outside running in the rain and getting drenched with joy.
Such a welcome downpour.
Such a gift from God.

And I got to hold a tiny 4 week old baby and gaze on the beauty of fresh new life.
This was truly life-giving. I feel like I haven't held a baby in ever so long and it  nourished me.  I prayed for the little fellow - that powerful prayers would flow from His life.
So precious.

And speaking of church and the Word...

This week I posted a verse on social media and got a bit of a response.
Granted, it was not a light and "easy" verse,
more of the meaty variety...with a bit of a "kick", so to speak.

"...serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the Lord searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever." 1 Chronicles 28:9 

Anyhoo, I got a couple of responses that kind of shook me.
From people who do ministry!  Who teach others.
One said they absolutely didn't believe the latter part of the verse and the other basically said "there must be a better way".

So it leaves me wondering...how many professing Christians don't actually believe that the Word of God is inerrant anymore?  How does one believe the first half of a verse and not the second half?  I totally understand that the last part of the verse is difficult to swallow, but I posted because the first half of the verse is the antidote!  So I explained this, saying that that although God does want all men to be saved, He gives us a choice in the matter.  And that God is full of mystery, therefore I don't even have the capacity to understand all of His ways.  He truly is bigger and wiser than I am.  His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts.

But oh joy - HE HAS MADE A WAY OF ESCAPE - completely paid for!
For those who seek Him, they will find Him.

This is my truth.
Jesus, the Word became flesh.
The Way, The Truth and The Life.

Pleasures at Home

Having traveled rather extensively last year, I have since fallen quite in love, on a whole new level, with my home and city and wonderful friends and family.

Driving up the long winding road the other evening while the late sun cast it's warm heavy rays on the rich green grasses, highlighting royal purple flowers and spreading it's last warmth on the lush orchards and stately pines while the crickets chirped their songs ... I was simply overwhelmed with the beauty of it all.

I get to live here and love Jesus here.

Praying as I wind my way through the country roads and busy city streets,

Finding myself at a job that is tailor made for me that I just love.

Tending my lovely flowers and wild garden, planting alyssum, watering my geraniums, picking mint for my water jug, watching the setting sun through my bedroom window light up the sky with streaks of purple and pink. 

I have friends that I can meet with on back patios or for coffee after work.

Sometimes sitting in a dog park, sipping the special brew while talking through the intricacies of life and health and family...

There is a perfect prayer group in a home that is actually accessible with a ramp and everything. 

God is showing up in increasing power and passion and helping us to pull heaven down on earth...His Kingdom, here...now.  In and around us.

Amazing privilege to worship and pray with these incredibly precious people.  

I have a car at my beck and call that allows me to zoom around at will.

Picking up groceries, or friends or delivering bouquets of balloons to beautiful birthday girls...

And I even have an "unbook" club with which I can laugh and cry and pray.

Tonight we listened to tales of two travellers in our group and ended with a sweet time of communion.

I have Sara and Patrice sharing this home and this life.

They are family.

Sara teaches me so much through her walk with God.

So raw, so honest, so life changing. 

She truly incorporates the Word of God into her life on a daily basis in huge chunks, meditating on it, journaling and being changed in the process.  Experiencing miracles in the most amazing ways.

And Patrice is my princess.

She blesses me with her faithful kind ministrations to me and through her willingness to keep on keeping on even when the going gets tough.

Such a beautiful overcomer and lover of truth.

Honestly, I could just go on and on and on.

I am blessed beyond what I am able to comprehend.

Reunions and a Union

The sun came out and shone upon the bride and groom as they stood under the canopy on the lake.

A sweet blessing from heaven on this union.

Introducing Mr. & Mrs. Green.

I think Mr. Green may be slightly overwhelmed as can be evidenced by the eye twitch.  I'm sure that will resolve as he adjusts to the fact that he is now a married 

man.

  

Some of the most precious people in my life. 

This is family.

This is love.

My gorgeous sister and Pupcake. 

Frozen lanterns getting a lick by two eager tongues.

This is what happens when auntie is in charge...

And the newlyweds...

Meanwhile, back at the photo booth we were having having more than an eye twitch!  General silliness ensued and a good time was had by all.  So special to be with cousins and aunties and the little fellows. 

*********************

Since the wedding was late in the day we enjoyed lots of family time.

The spacious cabin provided a perfect space for visiting, playing and eating together. 

Games and cousin time...

This little fellow here below?  Absolutely scrumptious!! 

Hillbilly Toilet

My sweet niece Amy is getting married this weekend!
Patrice and I packed up and drove down here to Salmon Arm yesterday to take part in this special event. Super beautiful drive, breathtaking views as we wound our way through the valley and along the lakes.

We are staying in a "cabin" which is the most spacious, beautiful home overlooking Shuswap Lake and the lovely green mountains.  My bedroom is huge, with big picture windows.

Everything is amazingly spacious and huge - except the bathroom, unfortunately.

Ahh, the story of my life.

It's impossible to explain accurately the gymnastics and energy required for me to use a bathroom that is not properly set up for me.
Plus it's dangerous when I have to twist my arms and shoulders and wrists and risk falling onto the floor if I lose my balance.
All around a rather precarious procedure.

This bathroom is particularly bad and I despaired as I was not even able to get up off the seat by myself.  And Patrice has been having trouble with her back so I certainly don't want to be the cause of further pain or damage.
As a result I planned to drive home in the morning and perhaps return on Sunday for the wedding.
But, in any event I still needed to use the bathroom before leaving.

It was a bit of a fiasco to say the least and in the ensuing kafuffle, as Patrice tried to help me, she tore the towel bar right off the wall!  Thankfully I didn't land on the floor, but I did make an unfortunate heavy landing on the wheel of my chair which I am hoping will not result in a pressure sore.

But Vic began scheming and had a plan. The next morning he got started.

He started out by reattaching the towel bar. Then he got to work with his measuring tape to figure out what I would need and put together a contraption to raise the height of the toilet to something I could use.
A bonafide hillbilly toilet seat put together with screws and duct tape.
And lots of love.
Seriously amazing.

And it works!!
My brother is my hero.
Endlessly cheerful, loving to solve problems and help people.
He just makes me so very happy   
So, needless to stay I am still here!  Enjoying the view and the visits with people as they come hang with us in our palatial cabin.

Patrice treated Vic and the bride-to-be to a Mojito to calm their nerves.

***********************

Everyone enjoyed themselves on this sun drenched day at the beach. Kayaks, paddle boards and canoes were employed and there was lots of jumping off the dock.  This was as close as I could get to the beach without going down a really steep pathway and having someone push me back up again.

Elsie and Pupcake arrived this evening and I am now
tucked into the cozy room with her and her guitar, flute, extra bedding and many, many bags.

One of which contains the illegal squatter Pupcake.
He's not supposed to be here, but we're praying he will go unnoticed. If he can just keep his tiny little muzzle shut it will be very beneficial as we are staying right next door to the managers.

Along with Elsie has come a sweet spirit of worship and Jesus.
We have already been singing together and she has been playing her guitar and flute.
She has made so much space for God in her life.
He is the One Thing she pursues.
I am blessed beyond measure to be in this family.

Praying for a wonderful wedding day tomorrow!

Forged in Heaven

This dear friend surprised me with a bouquet of the most beautiful tulips and a visit today.  

We have years and years and miles and miles of history.

Literally.

Our friendship has taken us to so many different places, always in search of more of God. 

Hawaii, Colorado, Edmonton, Ottawa, Langley, the Philippines, Thailand, Taiwan, Calgary and back to Hawaii again.

And in seeking Him, we found Him.

Because He is true to His promise that if we seek Him we will find Him. 

Ahhhhh, I am so grateful for what she has meant to me over the course of the last 25 years or so. 

And her faith has nourished and carried me when my own felt worn out and weak.

This friendship was forged in heaven...

Plus, this is one friend who likes taking pictures at least as much, if not more than I do.  And that is comforting to me on some level.  

Knocked Out

It's all over now and I somehow missed the whole show.
I think the Dr. perceived that I was somewhat anxious so the "light sedation" that they promised turned into something deep and wonderful.

Just the way I like it.

I awoke about an hour and a half later in another room and Patrice somehow found me.  The Dr. also found me again and said I have a hernia.  Plus she is sending me for more testing.  Glad I'm getting this all looked after at long last.  She didn't find the nasty pill, but she did see a reddened area that showed evidence of irritation from the little intrudes long slow slide downwards.

I would have loved to have stayed in the bed and slept on as my night had been very short and I was feeling so lovely and relaxed, but alas, breakfast was served and I was on my way.

Since I felt quite celebratory at my release I got myself a yummy drink at the "Perking Lot".  A special drink turns any old event into a party!

unfortunately I didn't read till I got home that chocolate and coffee are not helpful for an irritated esophagus...

We discovered that Grandma had been admitted to the hospital due to pneumonia so we popped in for a visit and brought her some flowers and prayed for her.
Convenient when those visits line up.

One stop shopping is the way I like to roll, so to speak.


*************************

Just needed to add a p.s. here.

This evening I went to prayer.
It was amazing to be surrounded again by like minded people, all of us worshiping God, together lifting up the Name of Jesus above all other names.
Wrapping ourselves all up in Him and then praying for each other.

They heard some of my throat saga and they came around me,
Praying for healing, giving encouragement and blessing me with their love.
Their warm hands on my back and shoulders, Jesus showing up with skin on.
Pushing back the plans of the enemy and speaking life over and into me.

I'm grateful for these friendships, forged in the furnace of prayer.
We go straight to what matters most and contend for God's purposes in our lives and in the lives of others.
I really love these nights of prayer.
God shows up and we change history together.

The Importance of Swallowing Properly

I have a problem.

Last night I was distracted as I took a couple of supplements before bedtime.

I've become much more careful about swallowing pills since I have had issues with them getting stuck in what appears to be an esophageal diverticulum.  

Or in other words a little pocket inside my throat that likes to hold onto food or liquid and has the unfortunate side effect of causing me to aspirate in the night.  

But last night?

I was distracted because I had bumped my elbow and was hurriedly trying to get ice onto it and therefore I threw the magnesium caplet into my mouth without practising due diligence.  (Best to drink water before and very carefully swallow with plenty of more water)

Anyways, I felt the little sucker lodge in my throat and I was duly horrified.

Haven't done this for a couple of years now.

I went to lay down, knowing that somehow this always resolves itself in time. 

Usually in two or three hours the pills shift and slide down where they belong.

But not this time.

This little guy has found himself a new home, but I am bound and determined to get him out as it hurts EVERY TIME I SWALLOW - even just my saliva.

Kind of like having a rock caught in my throat. 

The convenient and surprising thing about this whole story is that I happen to have a gastroscopyy booked for tomorrow morning.  They weren't able to get me in early (I even pulled the paralysis card to try to speed things up) so I just went to work and kept busy today, making sure not to eat so as to prevent any choking episodes.  Thankfully I have been able to drink.

I am praying that tomorrow morning this little pill will be history and I will no longer have this pressure in my throat and chest.  And I am hoping that they will be able to operate to make the pocket disappear.  

I am also praying that I will sleep tonight.  

So in faith I will say,

Goodnight. 

Days of May

This weekend we celebrated Mother's Day.
Tis a blessing to celebrate and to be celebrated.
Dear Patrice got up early before work and made me the most delightful spelt flour blackberry scones.
I drank tea from the lovely mug she gave me.
This is love.
Simple and beautiful.

In the evening I had the privilege of celebrating my mom and auntie.
We had a BBQ (turned into frying the steaks in a pan due to malfunctioning BBQ) and enjoyed a beautiful evening out on the back patio.

 Amy was here for the weekend which was sweet as we haven't seen her much in the last few years.

After supper we sang hymns and choruses and enjoyed the warm soft evening.
The lilacs. still in bloom. scented the air and the layers of fresh green growth stretched out around us.

I will celebrate this dear Mom of mine, as much as I despair at her growing old and feeble before my eyes.
Her spirit is still strong.
She fights for what independence is still hers to enjoy.
She prays for us steadfastly, with faith and with very great love.
She loves God and trusts Him incredibly well.
She stands unswervingly on His Word.