There was a great deal of overcoming that was transpiring through the previous night and into the day. You see, somehow I managed to get another bladder infection so my spasms were going nuts in the night hours. As I got up to use the washroom at three a.m. I lost my balance and really wrenched my upper back and right shoulder, making movement even more difficult than it already is. It actually hurts me to swallow too which I think is kind of weird. Could I have strained the muscles around my sternum?
Anyways...
The intensity of my disability is definitely increasing and it has me thinking these profound, sometimes frightening, thoughts.
Thoughts about my broken body and the grace given to live and keep pressing through all these various adversities and infirmities. Sadness that my dear daughter has to carry so much of this burden and that she is definitely feeling it at this point in her life.
She's looking after her clients for work and then when she comes home, there I am, often needing her to do something or other for me because I just need a lot of help. I want her to know she is free to go and to travel and to experience life apart from me because I KNOW God will send others to help me.
So anyways, I'm grateful for overcoming grace and mercy and for friends who pray. Today I experienced the mercy that comes through the Body interceding for me and my girl. Traveling mercies for life.
And there were breakthroughs today for both her and I.
There was such joy in meeting up with Daniel and Nicole here at our hotel and in sitting out on the sand with them, watching the dogs running on the beach while the sun was setting over the ocean.
I'm tucked into a super comfortable bed with a heat bag and they are off enjoying the hot tub. This is a trip that looked like it wasn't even going to happen last night, but joy came by about noontime. And Daniel and Nicole are here with Patrice to carry the burden of "me".
I wish I didn't have to be that needy part of "the Body", but it seems that I am, so I'd just better deal with it and be thankful for the good plans that God will put into motion through my life. Through this brokenness and neediness, through the pain and the sorrow and the joy that keeps breaking through and buoying me up.
He's just SO GOOD. Truly. All the time. Even when it doesn't feel like it. In His kindness and in the midst of all of this we managed to get to the aquarium and saw amazing things. It's all tangled together like that... the pain and the beauty, the joy and the angst.
Crazy, unreal beauty.
These beautiful slippery white beluga whales... I am mesmerized by them.
And jelly fish - what are they exactly? Can they feel, do they have a brain?
Mysterious and beautiful. Like much of life.
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