In this Moment

We are having an incredibly beautiful October, just as I was hoping we would back during our dark, wet September when the weather got cold very fast.

Things have changed so quickly and dramatically since dad passed.
Amazing that I am actually writing those words.
Dad passed.
Passed out of his struggling, frail, earthly frame into realms of glory that I can barely even imagine.

I am grateful beyond words.

Haven't written in here since August 15 when things got so much busier for me visiting Dad every day while he was in hospice. I'm going to try to go backwards and fill in those weeks as I have so many beautiful pictures of my times with Dad, but for now I need to process on "paper" what is happening.

I am now on the other side of something so very amazing.  Everything feels so different and quiet, almost surreal. There was all the hubbub of moving mom and dad to the care home for one short week, Dad's very rapid decline resulting in Vic and Patrice rushing home to say their final farewell before Opa passed followed by the gathering of family for the goodbye celebration.  And on the very day of Dad's celebration of life, Derek and Jennifer were moving out to make room for my family.  It was somewhat chaotic and rather cataclysmic, but God's grace was over all.

And now I am here at home.
My now quiet and incredibly peaceful home.
The rooms are bathed in late fall sunlight and there are golden and red trees declaring God's glory outside every window.

I am finding a new rhythm with Mom here.
She is so sweet and precious, childlike and so humble.
I feel honoured to have her here and to be able to serve her.
I'm still trying to get my bearings after the move-out of the family and the move-in of mom, along with laundry from the guests that stayed here and getting things reorganized; but slowly things are falling into place.
I've been "reclaiming" my kitchen, cleaning the fridge out, reorganizing cupboards, sorting things in the garage and starting a new chapter.

I am suddenly responsible for making three meals a day, keeping mom warm and entertained, helping her get dressed, reminding her where the bathroom is, taking her on little excursions into the yard where she sits in the sun and giving her pills and eyedrops on schedule.  Thankfully Elsie has been showing up in the evening to help get her into bed, as that can take a very long time and by then I am out of gasoline!

I'm only just starting on this journey with mom here, but so far there is immense peace and grace.  It may end just as quickly, but I'm glad I don't have to figure out tomorrow.  Right now every day is very full and I'm just going to enjoy this sweet time with mom.

This afternoon I cleaned out my garden beds and got my geraniums ready to winter while mom sat all cozied up in blankets watching me while the sun warmed her back.  She makes such lovely little comments about the sunshine, or about what I am doing.  There's a lot of repetition because of the dementia that has set in since her fall and all of the rapid changes she's been through, but because of mom's sweet personality it's easy to manage.

Right now we are laying on my bed and mom is sleeping beside me.  Occasionally she wakes up and pets Ladybug and we chat a bit but I'm thankful that she is content to lay with me so I can have my refuelling time.

Tonight Elsie comes over for the evening shift while I go out for prayer.

All is well.