February's Finale

It's a beautiful thing to get well after a long flu.

Energy to do small everyday things is such an incredible gift.

And look at these tulips, heralding Spring with such divine simplicity and beauty!

A gift from one of my sweet Butterfly Friends from our breakfast this past Saturday morning. 

This month has been quieter due to Patrice and I spending half of it either sick or trying to get well. But there are so many beautiful things that fill our days.

Shafts of gentle Spring light, hot milky chai, comforting pups, revisiting old videos, and the disappearance of snow. 

It feels as if life on earth is a "type" of February to me. 

There is a knowledge of and tremendous hope for Spring on the horizon...just like I KNOW that there is an eternal season of the most incredible and beautiful life that is just around the corner.

It sometimes feels like an incredibly long corner to round, but it's coming.

February can be a bit shadowy, with muted colours and snow still lingering rather low on the hills sending some chilling breezes down when the sun is not there to ward off the cold.  

These two pictures were taken last Friday when we had our family prayer and praise drive.  Tante Hilda had brought a song sheet full of songs extolling the beauty and power of the blood of Jesus so we sang heartily and proclaimed the goodness of God in the land of the living! 

But there are hints of green and on my way home from church yesterday I saw this comical sight in a sports field nearby. 

Kids running about the field with their bodies encased in giant balloons! 

So as I look out of my bedroom window I see clouds and blue sky.

I'm so grateful for this day.  That I could head out to school and work with my precious students, have some coffee with a friend in my car and even go to a car wash station where I hosed down my dust laden car with a powerful stream of hot soapy water. 

That seems like a fitting finale to February and winter! 

Waiting for Wellness

I'm on day 6 now of a rather persistent and ugly flu.
Body aches, burning eyes, weakness, heavy chest and congestion.
I even had to miss dear Tante Hilda's 85th birthday party on Monday with the family, but there was no desire or energy in me to go and spread my germs.  I was happy to hear that they had a lovely time, even playing some dominoes after the Chinese Food extravaganza.  Dear Patrice has also been fighting a cold so I have a fellow sufferer in my misery.

Unfortunately as much as I know that "rest and sleep" is the great healer, my attempts at sleep have been sabotaged again and again by aggressive muscles spasms in my lower torso.  They go on for hours, often in the night, making sleep nearly impossible and creating a whole new raft of pain.

Thankfully I do know that this too shall pass, but oh the nights can seem long!
I'm incredibly thankful that I have a warm house, a comfy bed and sweet puppies to keep me company.  And even drugs to ease the journey somewhat.

Yesterday I finally left the house for the first time to go to my "alternative" MD who gave me intravenous H202 and handed me some penicillin to ward off any pneumonia that might be trying to settle in.  I'm hoping to feel the effects of this intervention soon.

This morning I've been sipping on a very healthy green smoothie I made. Carrots, greens, an avocado AND the seed, pineapple, bananas, ginger and lemon juice.  YUM! Amazing that I have the capability of making these delicious life-giving drinks - my God is so kind in the midst of my troubles. I'm wishing I could send some of the smoothie down the hill to Mom as she has been steadily losing weight and having very little energy. Life in these bodies, at least for some of us, is a huge challenge.  But we cling to Jesus, trusting in His goodness and praying for intervention and relief and help.

Yesterday was a warm sunny day and when I took the puppies out I sat facing the sun, letting it's warmth stream over my face and body. Rays of heaven permeating this weary soul.  The snowpack is receding rapidly and the grass is green underneath!  Even the many balls that the dogs have lost over the winter season are starting to surface in different areas of the fields around the house where they have been covered with snow until now.

So it's onward and upward for me.
Now it's time for my daily proclamations and some time in the Word.
Having a hard time getting through Job.  He's always good for perspective though.
And I thought I was having a hard time?
Haha, ya.

The Way

This is a beautiful report from the recent “Homecoming Gathering” in Korea with David Demian and Pastor Gideon.  What a beautiful thing that God has done in that nation.  This Gathering was like the one that occurred first in Canada, and then in Japan, Israel, Germany and China.  Now Korea is on board and has received revelation and healing as they have repented and embraced the desire of Christ - no longer orphans but sons and daughters!!.  Instead of becoming number one they want to be ONE in HIM!

So precious… I wonder which nation is next on God’s agenda?!  I am so encouraged and challenged after reading this.  (Slight editing done)

"Following the Holy Spirit is simple yet hard. Simple, because we take away our right to make decisions, just surrender and follow. Hard, because we need to surrender, yet we  always have ideas of our own. But we still need to believe and take risks, to yield, to inquire, to wait, and then He will speak. When we learn to obey, following the Holy Spirit becomes easy. When we still insist on our own will, following the Holy Spirit will be difficult. 

This morning together (at the gathering)  we experienced not initiating for God. We wait until He speaks. If God does not speak, we have no plan B. Waiting on God is not wasting time. God knows we always have plan B, but we say to Him, "Lord, teach me not to move till You speak!”  Even Lord Jesus said, "The Son can do nothing by himself, He can only do what He sees the Father is doing.” (John 5:19) 

Let's take this to wherever we go--- our home, work, school, church:  surrender to the Holy Spirit, listen to His voice, treasure His presence and allow the Holy Spirit to take leadership. We may fear chaos or losing control, but God says, "I am a good Father, surrender in my presence, we will break forth together.” 

"This time I finally understand: we love Him, and are willing to seek after Him, but we are imperfect.  We might hear wrong, do wrong, might not find the right way, don’t know where He is going. But I still will take the risk to trust in Him, He knows the way. In fact, that “Way” is not what we do, that “Way” is a Person, Jesus! He is the Way and the Truth and the Life. The "Way" we follow is Him. (The Truth is Him too--- not the theology that we understand!) That makes it easy, no longer be afraid, because when I walk down the wrong road, this Way---Lord Himself, will correct me! Oh, what a great relief!"

"The rest is also easy to understand: Now the Holy Spirit is walking so close to me, I do not want to grieve Him, where He can’t go, I won’t go. Thoughts that do not please Him I can't entertain. He will plead, " Don’t, please, I can’t take that.” “Yes, my Lord, my God, please help me overcome, I am a new creation. Your presence is my pursuit and You desire is what I choose now.”

Such beautiful words.
This is the journey.
Jesus is the Way.  
I lean into the Holy Spirit and treasure Him in the stillness.
Trusting that He will speak and lead.  
And until He does, I wait.  

Good Morning

Look who was peeking in my bedroom window this morning when I pulled up my blinds?! 

Two of her buddies were lying under the nearby tree where I am guessing they spent the night.

I had gotten up after having a horrible night of aching joints, spasms, little sleep and a heavy chest, but this sight warmed my heart and provided a much needed diversion. 

I watched the three beauties nibbling at grass and walking gracefully between the trees in the orchard.  

This was my view last night as I went out with the dogs.  Not easy to make out the crescent moon, but it was spectacular and it feels like our winter has ended.

We have had lots of rain which has been melting away the substantial snowpack and it has been smelling fresh and hopeful outside.

So even though it's been overcast and wet it feels like we have turned a corner.

I don't want to get too excited, but I think winter is retreating.

Inner Workings

I am often writing about the "happenings" of my life and am divulging very little of the "inner workings" of my soul.

I'm not sure exactly why this is. Partly it is because this is such a public forum (as small as that "public" may be) and partly because I have another private space where I write and journal some of my reflections and prayers so that I can be raw and honest with God.

But anyways, here is some of my recent "inner stuff"...

I have watched a few episodes of a show called "my new day" that a friend told me about.  The man who has put together the "passion" translation of the Bible (Brian Simmons) was speaking there about his amazing love story with God and how his life has been filled with the Word of God since he was saved in his early 20's.  It has absolutely consumed him and his entire life has been given over to His lover, Jesus Christ.

After listening to how the Holy Spirit became his best friend, I began to cry out for that.  I desperately want to want this more than anything.  To be so consumed with the glorious presence of God that everything else pales in comparison. Everything!

As I was asking for this I immediately felt an invitation to "keep coming, keep coming" towards Him. I have begun more earnestly to pursue him through study and proclaiming, praying and reading the Word in this past season and I know that this is a part of "coming closer to Him".  It's about our desire for Him and He sees that, however great or small it is.

In my minds eye I suddenly saw the threshold of a door and I felt that the Lord was showing me that I have been standing at the threshold, smelling the smells and experiencing the sweet presence of God that comes wafting out of the place where His glory dwells.  But there is more, way more for me to experience in far greater depth and intimacy with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

I then remembered how I recently put my finger print onto my i phone so that I could use it as a passcode to "get in".  The finger print was not received in just one placement - I had to repeatedly put my finger down, at many different angles until the full imprint was received and at that moment the phone "opened" to me.

I felt that God was encouraging me to continue to come before Him - repeatedly, submitting every area with faith and courage so that the inner secrets of the dwelling place and heart of God would be "unlocked" for me.  I want to know how He loves me, to have so much revelation of this that it will increase my own capacity to hold His love and to let it pour out of my life.

And this is my journey right now. 

Seeking to know His love, to know His heart in greater measure and to rest in that.

My longing and hope is based on the prayer of Jesus at the end of  John 17 that says: 

"The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one;  I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me."

Frosty February

As much as I was happy to see the back end of January, February has shown itself to be fully capable of producing equally "wintery weather".

This is what I saw recently on my way home from work. 

So very lovely.

(The compensation for enduring this unending cold.)

I've been pretty much finished with all of the fresh dumps of snow, morning after morning, but it's hard to resist this kind of beauty.

I ended up going home one morning after watching some crazy traffic on the slippery roads up here.  One woman not far from this point had tried stopping at a T in the road and she just kept sailing straight into the orchard ahead of her.  That's when I turned around and decided to skip school.

And this little fellow makes his presence known all around the house.  He loves flying into my bedroom and admiring his image in all of the mirrors he finds there. If only he did't leave a little trail of droppings I wouldn't mind so much.

He does fill the house with his cheery little songs and Patrice loves him so therefore he has special privileges.

Recently I tried to get my three kids together for a breakfast, but unfortunately work got in the way for Nicole. She had just returned home from a trip to Thailand with her family and came home sick and tired and jet lagged.  The poor gal had a rough week.  So even though she was unavailable I forged ahead and had a morning out with Daniel and Patrice.  I'm learning just make the best of whatever is available!  Time with the kids is a treasure so I'll take whatever I can get. This was a sweet time of catching up over a pretty amazing breakfast.