Focus on Him

Well, I found out tonight from JG that Lent has officially begun.
He knew exactly what the Lord had told him to do.
That didn't surprise me at all. He's probably the Godliest young man I know.
Seriously.

I began to stress wondering what on earth I would do for Lent.
I had been trying to find a way to break up the 40 days into groups of 10 so I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by the whole prospect. Last year was a bit of a write off for me as I broke down rather rapidly.
I thought maybe since JG's idea sounded so good I should make that my fast as well. That way I wouldn't have to "come up" with my own idea!! As you can see I was seriously lacking courage and wisdom in this venture.
Once again forgetting what it's all about.

So, on my drive home I dared to talk to Jesus about it.
Actually afraid of what He might ask me to give up. Heaven help me!!

In His great kindness He simply said He wanted me.
To focus on Him.
To spend time in the Song of Songs together with Him.
He misses me. And I miss Him.

So, forty days to regain focus.
The pursuit of love.

I actually read a story last Saturday about how one day our hands will reach out and hold onto the hands of God. And then our hands will reach up and touch His face. This brought me to tears.

The dream of touching the face of God made me remember how much I love Him.
I don't know when exactly the fear got in between us again, the guilt and legalism and stuff.
Ugly, ugly stuff.
But I'm trusting it will lose it's power as I obey Him in this.
Not giving something up and focusing on how good I'm doing on that, as is my habit.
But adding, adding the most important thing.

I want to be like Mary who went after Him.
Poured out her perfume - her most precious possession.
Trusted in Him when He told her she was forgiven.

So, tonight I meditate on the first lines.
Let Him Kiss me with the kisses of His mouth...