Therefore, on this Second Advent, where the candle representing Peace is lit, I attend the services along with hundreds who are grieving alongside these families that have suffered such a profound and incomprehensible loss. Praying for the "peace that passes understanding to guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus".
I am grateful for the years where I was a part of a very large church here in town where I had the opportunity of connecting with so many beautiful people and their children. And I am grateful that in both of these services there is the powerful element of faith in Jesus and the promise of a beautiful "here-after" in Him where there will be no more tears or sorrow.
But until then we walk gently along together, weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice. Praying for courage to keep getting up on hard days for those who are grieving and waiting for brighter tomorrows...
As I lay here looking out over the orchard as the sky turns to the light of day I am pondering and praying. Giving the Creator and Lover of my soul my longings, praying for those who are suffering, for my family and for myself. The ongoing conversation between God and myself. This conversation is so often one-sided; I'm not giving Him much time to respond to my heart's cry, but there is a knowing He is here with me, loving me and engaging with me. Stretching out His strong arm to heal and to save and to help.
I realize in my praying that even though I keep asking for so many things that are "tangled" and seemingly unfinished, there are so very many things that are right and good.
As I've been sharing the care-giving responsibilities for Mom mostly with Elsie, I'm filled with immense gratitude for a sister who is unrelentingly loving and devoted. There is such a sense of unity between us as we look after Mom's needs and enjoy this unique season of mothering our mother.
I"m filled with an immense gratitude for a mother who is so easy to love and care for. That I"m able to do this, even with my own limitations, all in this beautiful accessible home in the scenic country-side. And sweet Tante Hilda is diligently and lovingly taking mom in for fellowship on a regular basis. Our loving, overcoming, determined and courageous Auntie is another amazing gift.
I think about my children who love each other. That they are kind to one another and look out for each other. That's a gift from my Gracious Heavenly Father. An answered prayer... I think about Daniel and Nicole who are happily married and who really love doing life together. They are good to each other and they are good to me. Amazing goodness.
The beautiful relationship of support and love between Victor, Marcia, Elsie and I is something not to be taken for granted. It feels miraculous and wonderful. And it is!
Truly, I am "seeing the goodness of God in the land of the living" as I have often prayed from the end of Psalm 27.
There are still unanswered questions and hard things that I continually bring before God and there always will be on this side of eternity. This is "boot camp" as I often say, and we are here to learn and grow, to be conformed into the image of Christ. The hard places seem to be the best growing ground for that. Uncomfortable but good when we reach out for the Hand that is always reaching out for us.
May Jesus, our Good Shepherd, continue to have mercy on us all as we journey along... sometimes stumbling, sometimes running and sometimes needing to be carried.
His rod and His staff comfort us, He anoints our heads with oil and restores our soul. His goodness and mercy are following us all the days of our lives, whether we recognize it yet, or not...
Lord please give us all eyes to see and ears to hear what You in Your great kindness are saying to us today.
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