first picnic

This evening my girls had a sushi and wine picnic out on the patio!

The first one of the season.

Even though we awoke to snow again, thankfully it melted away in the afternoon sun.

We are celebrating this hesitant Spring

Coaxing her along and turning our backs on old Winter as he fades away.

twenty one

These are my beautiful kids. The middle one just had a birthday.

We went out for Indian food at her request.

Our little household had a birthday breakfast too! Fun gifts - mostly to do with cooking and baking because that's what she loves to do and she does it with passion and excellence.

it was an amazingly full and wonderful day of celebrating the sweet daughter's birthday.

Sometimes...

But not very often, I feel really sad about my "dis-abilities".

Sometimes I feel locked into this body and there is no key to let me out

for even just a little walk, or run, or stand up hug, or swim, or bath.

Today is one of those days.

Of course hormones are involved.

They just heighten all kinds of emotions that I'm usually able to keep well below sea level.

So anyways, I'm feeling the sadness and I'm humble enough and brave enough and hormonal enough to actually write it here.

This too is my life.

Spasms that wrack my body, sometimes for hours on end, driving up my blood pressure and leaving me utterly exhausted.

Low grade pain that drives me to lay down at every possible opportunity, missing out on lots of activities and lots of life outside the confines of my home.

Bathroom issues that keep me close to home and complicate all travels and most of life, more than most people can possibly imagine.

But amazingly enough I do truly swim in oceans of grace.

Most of the time.

I know God will make this up to me one day, and that for the most part, my life is more comfort laden than what most people on this planet experience.

Just sometimes I feel sorry for myself.

This is one of those times.

So, I'll feel these feelings and be sad for a bit.

Experience the loss and validate it for what it is.

Joy and courage will come again.

And meanwhile the sky is blue with fluffy white clouds.

I have my sweet puppies and my dearest daughter here in this warm and cozy room with me.

And underneath my sadness I'm grateful.

The best is yet to come.

Amen.

March Mayhem!

The birds are back at the feeders again, delighting my heart.

I don't know why they took a break for a few months, but it's wonderful to see their sweet little forms clinging to the feeders and gathering nourishment.

The weather has been wild and wooly - sunshine, cold, warmth, snow, rain, very big winds.

This day started out with snow - gigantic wet flakes covering the ground. It all disappeared after lunch and now as I look out the window the wind has returned brining another crazy snowfall.

It's like there is a grand wrestling match with Spring tugging one way and winter the other and we're caught in the middle experiencing a bit of everything. Sometimes all in one day!

I don't know what else I was going to say today as I had to get up and take pictures when the blizzard roared through. Presently the sun is shining into my bedroom and all is calm again.

Yesterday was fun with a visit to the coffee shop with Oma and Tante Hilda and a round of delicious drinks.

The day was finished with a small engagement party celebrating some of the daughter's friends who are getting married this summer along with a whole load of other lovestruck couples.

And the circle of life continues...

This House

I don't often write about the goings on in this house, but they are many.

Four females live here!

One is an energetic artist and art teacher. She is seriously very energetic. The whole house starts to vibrate when she wakes up or comes home from wherever she has been.

One is an optimistic, recently unemployed hairdressing student who is engaged to be married to the artist's brother. Wedding plans are very much on her mind as is her beloved fiance.

One is the beautiful introverted daughter who is managing a coffee shop and working at a care home for disabled adults. She has to hide from the upstairs happenings sometimes.

And I, of course, am the housemother and a teacher. The buck stops here and I feel the responsibility and seriousness of my age but I manage to have so much fun on this journey.

I love the girls who live here with me.

I love the laughter that occurs spontaneously when they meet up in the kitchen and share their stories.

I love the coziness of visits around the kitchen table or on my bed.

I love the quiet times when everyone is out and busy and the house is mine for a little while.

I love that there are shared responsibilities with the house, but I don't like managing them.

I love having people to talk to and pray with that live with me.

I love the evenings of mentoring with an eager learner who inspires me to memorize diligently.

I love how we all love the dogs and endlessly laugh at them and admire them.

We are a little family and we are happy.

God has been immensely kind to me to provide me with such sweet company for this season.

And it's almost Spring.

Even though it keeps forgetting and it snowed again just a few days ago.

The tulips are about two inches tall out in my garden.

That is very, very promising!

Almost Hawaii

This was very much fun last night.

As much as I wanted to go to Hawaii this winter,

this is as close as I got.

They are always changing up the artwork in this cafe and I just loved these paintings.

We were celebrating March birthdays and these dear ladies got to wear their coconuts in style since they were the birthday girls!

(Check out the lovely green palm trees! It was almost as good as being there...)

Sun Really Helps

It's March and I'm just so thrilled that I'm on the other side of winter.

I head into winter gritting my teeth and hoping those dark months will pass quickly.

And they're DONE! Wahoo!!

The clocks magically sprang forward last night which will add another whole hour of brightness to this glorious season that is dawning.

Happiness is.... Spring and Light and Blue Skies and long days!!

I realize that's an awfully shallow statement, but amazingly enough I find myself quite affected by the dark and cold and isolation that results. And I know those months are harder on mom as well so it makes me happy that her little home will be brighter.

And I'm heading into Spring Break - two full weeks of free time to accomplish all kinds of things that have fallen by the wayside. I have a list and I'm starting to cross things off already.

Hopefully there will be some cheerful outings with Oma and Tante Hilda and Elsie since we don't have snow and ice and COLD hindering us anymore.

I'm spending time researching the different stops on the cruise that is now booked and paid for... when I'm not feeling guilty for spending all that money - haha!! It's been quite something dealing with my nerves over this whole adventure. I waffle between immense excitement and shame for spending so much on myself. But then I remember I'm doing it for family, bonding, and memories and God is actually very kind. He's not frowning at my bank account wondering why I didn't send that money to India. That enemy is such a thief. Robbing my joy in this tremendous gift from God.

I just might be attending a workshop called "Pain of the Heart" in a couple of weeks to deal with some of these issues that have been plaguing me. Because alot of my buttons have been pushed in the last couple of months.

This Day is DONE

I was teaching this morning when I answered my ringing cell phone.

Just in case. (Not the best policy but so very few people call my cell that it's usually important)

And I'm so glad I did.

The dentist was slipping me in for a cleaning and to check an aching tooth.

I'm always happy to get ugly uncomfortable things OUT OF The WAY so I jumped at the opportunity and headed to the office for the next THREE HOURS...

The cleaning was pretty standard and I had a sweet dental assistant to scrub my "beautiful teeth" clean. She really liked my teeth. Ha! I like my teeth too. Especially when they don't throb and ache while I eat.

I just endured, trying to make sure I'm wasn't clasping my hands too tight.

The dentist came in, looked at the x-rays and kindly decided he had time to fix my problem tooth.

A root canal was necessary so the torture continued.

Big needle, frozen half a face, rubber tent over my mouth and that feeling of choking due to an inability to swallow properly due to the contraption on my face.

I gripped the little suction wand while the digging and grinding and tamping and waiting occurred. I kept thinking it was almost over. But it wasn't.

My jaw ached from holding it open so wide and I had already come to the office with a very sore neck making me want to head straight to the chiropractor's. But I didn't.

I crawled out of the chair with my new giant filling and huge tongue.

I just wanted to go to sleep somewhere fast and was so happy to crawl into bed with my heat bags and try to disappear.

The pain in my neck turned into a wicked migraine a few hours later and after getting sick and moaning and groaning the medication finally kicked in and I could relax without pain.

Ahhh. Sweet relief and so much gratefulness for dentists, and medications and beds and a sweet daughter who was so kind.

You don't appreciate normal till you feel lousy.

I'm so glad to feel good again.

And now that March is here, the weather has gotten almost balmy!

Seriously, snow mostly melted and warm days.