Thursday, November 11, 2010

so many thoughts

I'm caught between happy and sad.
Thinking about so many things.
Things I need to do.
Things I wish I would have done differently or would have never done and...
Desiring to be more streamlined and ordered in my life.

Wishing I could actually see the Father's expression.
Knowing it's kind but unable to realize that in my heart
As I wade through the complications of life.

I don't feel quite equipped for so much of what is required of me.
Trusting that all will be most well.
So aware of my limitations and shortcomings.

Glad for grace, but wanting somehow to perform better.
Feeling small and slow and not very significant.
But knowing this is good if it causes me to look up at Him.
Taking the time -
To catch a glimpse of that gaze - intensely loving.
To catch a line of that song being sung over me - to hear the melody and
To let it wash over me, wash over me, wash over me...
Resting in His love.

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