Too Much

I just talk wayyy too much! Honestly - I even surprise myself with how many words I allow to come pouring forth at the slightest opportunity. I do know that our greatest gifting is often our greatest nemesis and in my case this is too true.

It disappointments me that I miss so much by filling the air with so many words when it would be way more important to listen.

Just tonight my daughter, who is one of few words (amazingly enough I gave birth to one of these) flopped onto my bed to chat and was really sharing her heart. I love it when she opens up, even if it is late on a school night, and starts to talk about the inner workings of her heart and how she perceives God and life. She spends far more time thinking and pondering than speaking, so when she finally does say something it is definitely worth my time to listen!

So I did listen, and we bantered back and forth... but suddenly!! Suddenly I had a profound thought!! And it was in such a hurry to come out that I actually cut my precious girl off to pour forth a stream of completely unnecessary words. Not that they were silly words, they actually fit into the conversation quite well, but I missed something in that exchange. Something irretrievable. She was just starting to say something and I cut her off with my profundity!! When I was finished I asked her to finish her thought but she had forgotten it.

sigh.

I know God told us in James to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry". I memorized that whole chapter!! I won't even bother looking into the concordance for all the other references to excessive speech - they pop out at me like blazing neon lights, especially when I read Proverbs! They are underlined!!

It's not only that too many words can lead to sin - speaking of things that aren't edifying or life giving; it's the fact that I somehow secretly think my thoughts are more important than someone else's. At least that seems to be the case. Sounds so horrible I'd rather not write it! Sheesh. I sometimes use the excuse that I'll forget the thought if I don't spout it out as swiftly as it enters my mind because my memory has become a little sketchy. (maybe a lot) But that's still no excuse. Time and time again I've cut people off, interrupted them and just hogged the air time. I need, need, need to exercise SELF CONTROL!!

So Father, I'm only minutely aware of how many blessings I've missed by speaking too much, but I want to become more like you. Valuing what others have to say. Valuing silence. Knowing that even if I don't get my chance to speak, if it's important enough you will make sure that those words gets spoken in some other way and time. Allowing silence to reign if others are not speaking - being comfortable just to be.

Thank you for your unbelievable grace and patience with me. Thank you for the gift of words that you have given me - to share freely and openly and easily. To encourage people, to bring life, to make people laugh and to exhort. But I ask you again to place a guard over my mouth - to remind me through your precious Holy Spirit when I've said enough. And when I shouldn't even begin! You are so kind. You will help me to mature in this area because you "who began a good work in me will bring it to completion"!!! Amen and Amen.