Artful Ecstasy

Last week my rather tiny artsy side was nourished with some amazing fare.

A drive along the lake
surrounded by fall colors,
Greek food with good friends.
Anticipation..

Then FEIST!
Altho she was tiny and so far away,
the venue big and impersonal,
the show was great.
Oh the voice - sailing, flying, taking us along on a ride with such passion.
Colors and artwork on the screen mesmerizing,
unique and ever changing.

One two three four, tell me that you love me more...

Lacey curtains, hands swirling in paint, images emerging,
flowers, pictures, movement, color...
the constant flow of notes and rhythm carrying us all along.

And Friday, a sudden invitation to Ballet!
Venturing out into the dark night in our new red chariot.
Grace at the box office - enjoying God's favour!
Dances of breathtaking beauty, unbelievable skill.
On and on,
Out of the darkness from behind the curtains flow
synchronized movements, music, color, grace.

Swept away into an exquisite world of magical movement
A feast for the eyes, the spirit, the soul

Nourishing something deep inside,
Satisfying
Surprising
Intense
Delightful
Invigorating

An oasis,
A Gift.

Undeserved mercies and kindnesses follow me all the days of my life.
Pictures of God - He swirls
He dances
He sings.
He fills, He satisfies.

Friendship Now

Just spent a couple of hours lounging on my bed with my son.
Sharing in his dreams
Talking about his upcoming adventure in Peru,
perusing websites about hiking boots and cameras.
He lets me into his world.
Oh how I have longed for times like this.

It's friendship now.
so precious.

Every moment with my kids
a gift,

I am truly blessed and truly grateful.

House of Dreams

Someone recently was challenging us to imagine what our city would look like if God had His way here and if we as His people would cooperate with Him. It's a great exercise of faith and I think God actually loves it when we dare to dream and imagine what it would really look like to see His Kingdom come and His Will be done here on earth as it is on heaven. (Well, I'm sure He loves it even more when we transfer our dreams and imaginings into doings and actions, but bear with me here...).

I now have three people under the age of 23 living under my roof. What a privilege to have so much life around me! Tonight two of my "borrowed daughters" came running into my bedroom and leapt onto my bed with huge hugs and greetings. Talk about being blessed and showered with undeserved love. I don't know why the Lord has brought these ones into my life, but they are here for a reason and I can hardly believe how blessed I am to be connected in such a way to this next generation.

So as I was getting ready for bed I began to wonder what kind of hopes and dreams I have for the ones under my roof and for this home in this next season. I'm sure God has plans for this time so I sure as heck want to be cooperating with HIM!

Therefore I thought it would be a good idea to prayerfully write out my "wish list" and be actively involved with God in seeing His Kingdom Come here!! Somehow writing down a list is an act of faith in itself and it feels one step closer to "calling forth that which is not yet as if it already were."

I declare that this home (God's home) will be a house of rest & peace - His presence ministering to all who enter here!

I declare that God's precious Holy Spirit has free reign in this place to speak, to bless, to convict, to draw - to do whatever He likes!!

I declare that this is Holy Ground, this house belongs to God and the enemy has no authority in this place - all authority in this place belongs to Jesus Christ who has triumphed over the enemy!

I ask that the precious blood of Jesus would be over every doorpost and opening of this home, and that as people enter, the blood of the Lamb would drip down upon them, imparting to them life and healing and deliverance and revelation.

I declare that this is a house of salvation - because Jesus lives here!!

And somehow I pray that the love of God would be made manifest in me so that He would be able to love those that come through these doors through my hands, my voice and my life.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine
according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory..."
Ephesians 3:20

So Jesus, this life is for you....as much as I keep forgetting and thinking it's about me, I declare that it's all about You in me!
Thanks for inviting me to ask and imagine... I want to imagine salvations and deliverances and healings and discipleship and community all happening here with You in the midst of it all - getting all the glory and being delighted here.

I welcome you...Your Kingdom Come, Your Will Be Done, here in my house as it is in heaven!

Rearrangments

So often life just ambles along, and I'm waiting for something more exciting to happen. I'm really grateful when I'm not in crisis though and I haven't been for a few years now, so that's good. Life has actually been pretty peaceful, if not a little boring. I prefer a fair bit of excitement as long as it's spaced out properly. But that's not in my control as so many things are not! (You figure out so many important things when you are past middle age.) So I'm learning to accept the peaceful times as well as the times of excitement and crisis. Not that I have alot of choice.

Anyways. My delightful cohabitants moved out at the end of September and I didn't quite know who God would send to fill in the empty house. There had been rumors in the summer that my son would move in when his condo sold, but that's an uncertain thing.

He almost sold it in the middle of September so all his room mates found alternative lodging. Then the deal fell through and the son was alone in his condo. He told me last Monday that he thought he might take it off the market. When talking to his realtor it was mentioned that someone was in a big hurry to buy. By Wednesday he had moved home and on Friday he had his condo sold and money in hand!!

Boy, things can sure change suddenly! I love that about God. Those situations remind me that it's important to hang on, to keep believing and praying because ALL OF A SUDDEN everything can change! For me this situation speaks into many other situations...it's a faith builder for sure!

So I'm loving having him around again - this tall, easy going young man with the easy smile and the great hair. Smile. It is different having an adult child move home, but it feels really great. Everything here on earth is so temporary so I just want to enjoy every minute of this.

I'm also looking forward to having a gal move in next week so all the bedrooms will be filled! There will be activity and laughter and lots of life happening here again. I am so thankful to God for these new rearrangements and for more excitement in my rather humble quiet existence.

I also bought a car last Friday which is a HUGE deal for me. I have been looking for one for a very long time and SUDDENLY it was the right day. There are so many variables in my car shopping that it became a really big issue in my life. The hand controls need to fit in, I need roof racks for the wheelchair lift. Is the front seat a power seat? Is it good on gas? Can I get things in and out of the trunk easily? Would my back hurt due to the seating? It was getting bigger and BIGGER in my mind and I was getting so befuddled with all the consumer reports. I've never had to buy a car for myself before.



This is definitely new territory for me but it is done! So the bright red car sits on my driveway waiting for its coat of paint protector. (My wheelchair and I are really hard on vehicles and on alot of other things, come to think of it).

When I wake up in the morning I remember that it sitteth there, bigger than life and worth alot of money. I haven't even ever driven it myself. The roof racks are on wrong for the wheelchair lift. Did I pay too much? Is it the right car for me? It is not a returnable item. I feel like I should be more excited, but my life is so complicated.


I pray that all the details and installations will come together easily and that soon I will be happily zooming about with a feeling of complete consumer satisfaction!!

Did I mention that my Dad phoned me one day and said he wanted to pay for this new car? Just to look after me to make sure I got into a new vehicle with warranties so I was safe. I almost cried right there and felt so loved and cared for. Now that is a miracle and the hand of God looking after me in a most tangible fantastic way!!

So, I have sooooo much to be gtateful for it almost takes my breath away. I won't let the complications of my life rob the joy of God's good gifts. My son is home, I enjoy an incredible friendship with my dear daughter, an adopted daughter is arriving soon and I have new wheels! God is, right here and right now showing me His goodness in the land of the living.

Intentional

In the mornings when I awake I have been doing a new thing.

MEMORIZING!!! It's not really a new thing, but it has been so long since I have committed a larger portion of scripture to memory that it feels new and wonderful.

I was challenged when I visited one of my most favorite and least favorite blogs. Ahem...yes, favorite because it challenges me and speaks with profound beauty and poetry. It is full of the simple essence of life - of Jesus in everyday. It speaks of a life that I wish I had passed onto my kids. It is full of amazing pictures and stories. So I am drawn to that blog time and time again even though I feel so convicted when I compare my parenting and lifestyle. (I know, I know...comparing is so dangerous)

It is least favorite because I feel small and selfish when I read about the daily disciplines practiced by the family. The everyday graces of praying together, memorizing, living very practically for others and literally living out Romans 12 where we are encouraged to offer ourselves as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. But as the writer always signs her name under the simple words "All's Grace" I too live my life under those words.

I need the grace to start fresh again with a simple form of self discipline and I'm doing it!! I started a few days ago and it's amazing how the brain kicks into gear with repetition. So I am taking up the challenge by joining them in Mega Memory Month and am simply doing the same passage that they have chosen...starting with Philippians 1:20. Don't know how far I'll get but it's a great passage and it's important that I just start somewhere!!

So now when I awaken early as I am prone to do, I have so much time to mull the words over in my head, adding line upon line and rejoicing that it is actually sticking!!

Small beginnings.

As Ann says in her blog it's important to be "intentional" in our pursuit of holiness. (Holy Experience)
His mercies are new every morning!!
Truly, all is grace and I am grateful for His call to me is to:"forget the former things, do not dwell on the past for behold I do a NEW THING" Isaiah 43

And now I can rise to a new day with new words written on my heart!

Too Much

I just talk wayyy too much! Honestly - I even surprise myself with how many words I allow to come pouring forth at the slightest opportunity. I do know that our greatest gifting is often our greatest nemesis and in my case this is too true.

It disappointments me that I miss so much by filling the air with so many words when it would be way more important to listen.

Just tonight my daughter, who is one of few words (amazingly enough I gave birth to one of these) flopped onto my bed to chat and was really sharing her heart. I love it when she opens up, even if it is late on a school night, and starts to talk about the inner workings of her heart and how she perceives God and life. She spends far more time thinking and pondering than speaking, so when she finally does say something it is definitely worth my time to listen!

So I did listen, and we bantered back and forth... but suddenly!! Suddenly I had a profound thought!! And it was in such a hurry to come out that I actually cut my precious girl off to pour forth a stream of completely unnecessary words. Not that they were silly words, they actually fit into the conversation quite well, but I missed something in that exchange. Something irretrievable. She was just starting to say something and I cut her off with my profundity!! When I was finished I asked her to finish her thought but she had forgotten it.

sigh.

I know God told us in James to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry". I memorized that whole chapter!! I won't even bother looking into the concordance for all the other references to excessive speech - they pop out at me like blazing neon lights, especially when I read Proverbs! They are underlined!!

It's not only that too many words can lead to sin - speaking of things that aren't edifying or life giving; it's the fact that I somehow secretly think my thoughts are more important than someone else's. At least that seems to be the case. Sounds so horrible I'd rather not write it! Sheesh. I sometimes use the excuse that I'll forget the thought if I don't spout it out as swiftly as it enters my mind because my memory has become a little sketchy. (maybe a lot) But that's still no excuse. Time and time again I've cut people off, interrupted them and just hogged the air time. I need, need, need to exercise SELF CONTROL!!

So Father, I'm only minutely aware of how many blessings I've missed by speaking too much, but I want to become more like you. Valuing what others have to say. Valuing silence. Knowing that even if I don't get my chance to speak, if it's important enough you will make sure that those words gets spoken in some other way and time. Allowing silence to reign if others are not speaking - being comfortable just to be.

Thank you for your unbelievable grace and patience with me. Thank you for the gift of words that you have given me - to share freely and openly and easily. To encourage people, to bring life, to make people laugh and to exhort. But I ask you again to place a guard over my mouth - to remind me through your precious Holy Spirit when I've said enough. And when I shouldn't even begin! You are so kind. You will help me to mature in this area because you "who began a good work in me will bring it to completion"!!! Amen and Amen.