A Cup of Water

The Lord reminded me today of the great importance of little things...small acts of obedience. I've been pondering my life as of late - as more and more things have dropped out of my schedule for numerous reasons, I now am left doing very little. Or so it seems. And I don't seem to have the wherewithal to add anything to my schedule. Lack of motivations? Lack of energy? Lack of vision...

It's certainly NOT lack of time. I have far too much of that on my hands. Makes me wish I had had more children when it was the season to do so. At least I'd have SOMETHING to keep me busy and make me feel...valuable and important. I must say that I do realize at some place in my reasoning that it's not what we do that makes us important...that being is more important than doing...yada yada. But it's not helping me on a practical level to deal with this new stage in my life. The almost empty nest syndrome coupled with being without a spouse coupled with my disability.... Leaves me feeling vulnerable and afraid. Afraid of the future. Not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing. Wanting to have something important to occupy my time and give me a feeling of validation.

It's very kind of the Lord to pull away so many of my "props" and to leave me naked and exposed... It doesn't feel kind at all but I know He's making me face up to some important questions. It was much easier to talk my spiritual talk and spout verses when I was busy and involved in ministries and people's lives in an active and productive way. I'm having to face up to Revelation 3:15-20 on a very personal level.

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor
hot. I wish you were either one or the other!...You say, 'I am rich; I
have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that
you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy
from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to
wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes so
you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline."

I want to make a difference in the world. I want to please Jesus - at least I think I do...but I'm awfully fond of my comfortable life. I'm used to being in control of my schedule and having enough of everything. So maybe, on a gut level I want to please myself more. And Jesus is showing this to me. And I don't like seeing it. I've realized that in desiring to go and work in an orphanage somewhere in the world, maybe I'm just trying to keep myself busy enough so that I don't have to face up to my own selfishness. That I'll feel better about myself and can be proud of the fact that I'm doing something to help out the "poor"...

So Jesus keeps me here at home. Doing what seems to be very little. He wants me to get my motivation right. So that I will stop doing things for recognition. He wants to be everything to me. I know I love Him...but am I still like the immature maiden in the first four chapters of Song of Solomon who is simply enjoying Jesus because of what He does for her? I want my love to deepen. And I know that the little suffering that I have been privileged to endure has allowed me to test my love for Jesus somewhat. At least it's left me knowing that it's Him or nothing. I can't do this life thing without Him!

So today He spoke to me of the importance of little things. Like making a phone call to someone who isn't on my regular phone list, but who needs to talk and is delighted to get a call. Like writing a card of encouragement to someone I know who could really use the validation and love that it might bring. Like speaking words of kindness and blessings to someone who needs to hear how valuable they are to me and to God. Like visiting someone in a nursing home and spending an hour just being with them... Simple things. Small things. Cups of water given out in Jesus' Name.

I was given a prophetic word quite some years ago now, and in it, the man spoke these words over me "cups and cups and cups and cups and cups and cups of water...." I don't remember the rest of the word exactly, but he was basically saying that this would be something I would do - give out cups of water in my life. The "Barnabas" anointing I guess - being an encourager.

I've pondered this word and it makes more and more sense to me when I look at my life and my giftings. In a marathon there are the runners who seem to be the stars of the show. The crowds are cheering them on and they are running with great endurance, just trying to reach the finish line and to get there first if possible. Usually along the route there will be people at the sidelines who hand out cups of water to the runners as they go panting by. Now, the "water people" are not really recognized in any special way for their service, but it's quite vital that they are there. Without them, the runners most likely would not be able to keep running or finish the race.

I am thankful that the Lord gave this word to me to look back upon. It has helped me along the way to remember that a cup of water given out in His Name is hugely valuable. It may not make the headlines, and maybe no one will ever even thank us for that "cup of refreshment" but it makes a difference. A small phrase spoken at the right time can change someone's life. It can literally save someone's life. We need encouragement and affirmation almost as much as we need water!

So I will trust God to take care of my future as I simply learn again to "trust and obey". To give out those cups of water and to receive my affirmation from my Father. It's a journey - learning to trust Him at a deeper level now that the props are gone - but what a cool opportunity to see HIM move on my behalf.

"And if anyone gives a cup of cold water to one of
these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will
certainly not lose his reward."

Matthew 10:42