Beauty

I'm still here in beautiful Hawaii.
Swaying palms, blue sky and a giant ocean spread out in front of me.
How great is that?!
I'm warm most of the time and hot sometimes.
My joints are doing GREAT!

I'm not completely out of touch with "reality" though!

I got a wicked bladder infection last weekend after attending a Beyond Freedom seminar with Patrice led by Gord Whyte.

I felt absolutely horrible.
Shivering, then wild spasms that just about made it impossible for me to transfer in and out of my bed, my neck was out and I ended up with a migraine.

Basically I wanted to die.
BUT antibiotics, advil, zomig and prayer were thrown into the equation and after a horrible night and a hard day I rose again.

I'm happy to say I am once again well and I even managed to do my 6th presentation quite well.
To celebrate I took a classmate, Dawn, out for Chinese Food.
Isn't she beautiful?  She just really knows how to encourage and champion people.

She is close to me in age and also suffers from perfectionism and performance orientation so we commiserate with one another, pray together and give each other courage. This was her week to feel horrible since her presentation apparently didn't go so well, so I just knew we needed to get away together and get some perspective...

Somehow, strangely enough, the whole bladder infection, wanting to die, life is so hard in a wheelchair and my back is a complete mess business gave me some perspective.  It's like God just whispered to me that it's really not such a big deal if I don't get it quite right with this memory thing every single week!!

So,
I choose to look at the beautiful palms again that incredibly blue sky.
I listen intently to the birdsongs that start with a flurry around 6:30 am and I revel in all of the variety of their joyful little songs.
I look at the flowers, splashes of intense colour with intricate design again the green backdrop.
I see whales playing in the ocean, all the way from the Go Center Lanai!
I gratefully wheel up steep (for me) hills to get exercise.  So much more exercise than I ever get at home in the winter.
I watch the cute tiny green geckos darting along the walls.
I listen to the many languages spoken as the people stream along the sidewalks,
Red and Yellow, Black and White…so precious, each one.
I draw stories out of the sweet men that push me up and down the hill and I find that I love each one so much.
I can go and eat meals that are already prepared for me, three times I day if I want.
I hear the sounds of worship, prayer and God talk all over the campus.

I can focus on the fact that I can't get off this campus and that it's not fair that groups of people are happily heading down the hill to hang out at the ocean or to swim or eat while I lay in my bed resting my back.  OR I can focus on God and thank Him for this opportunity to somehow, in some minute way, share in His sufferings and achieve a weight of glory in the next life.

And meanwhile, I'm learning so much of the book of LUKE!
I cry as I read the stories and they are expanding in my brain and in my heart.
They are exploding with life and reality.

I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity.

So when the enemy pushes in hard, to rob me of my peace and to tempt me into self pity, I have ammunition!
Praise, Worship, Gratefulness, Prayer, and...
Jesus who fights for me, prays for me and LOVES ME!