Full Circle

Today in class we had the Island Breeze group come in and do a presentation of one of the gospel stories they had been learning.  It was so well done and very entertaining!  The dead boy got up and did the Haka - something we never thought of when we were dramatizing the same story!

Before they left our class, the big Samoans and other group members gathered around our Word by Heart Group - encircling us - and they prayed and sang over us in their native tongue.  In the small room, the sound of these beautiful strong voices singing over and around us was an experience I hope I will never forget.  They finished by doing the Haka over us - a Maori war dance that speaks of life.  They shouted life over and into us and the power of God was present in a very real way.  I kept breathing in huge gulps of air - like God was giving me spiritual CPR after this long hard journey.

One of the members of the group was a first nations Canadian girl and I felt like the Lord was showing me that I had been on that journey of repentance with Watchmen for the Nations - for all of the sins "we" had committed against our aboriginal people.  And it seemed to have gone full circle - here she was standing with other aboriginal people singing, speaking and praying life over me.

Glorious, Beautiful, Unsearchable ways of God.

And here I am with Hannah doing some "talking and listening" at the Banyan Tree Cafe.

Beauty

I'm still here in beautiful Hawaii.
Swaying palms, blue sky and a giant ocean spread out in front of me.
How great is that?!
I'm warm most of the time and hot sometimes.
My joints are doing GREAT!

I'm not completely out of touch with "reality" though!

I got a wicked bladder infection last weekend after attending a Beyond Freedom seminar with Patrice led by Gord Whyte.

I felt absolutely horrible.
Shivering, then wild spasms that just about made it impossible for me to transfer in and out of my bed, my neck was out and I ended up with a migraine.

Basically I wanted to die.
BUT antibiotics, advil, zomig and prayer were thrown into the equation and after a horrible night and a hard day I rose again.

I'm happy to say I am once again well and I even managed to do my 6th presentation quite well.
To celebrate I took a classmate, Dawn, out for Chinese Food.
Isn't she beautiful?  She just really knows how to encourage and champion people.

She is close to me in age and also suffers from perfectionism and performance orientation so we commiserate with one another, pray together and give each other courage. This was her week to feel horrible since her presentation apparently didn't go so well, so I just knew we needed to get away together and get some perspective...

Somehow, strangely enough, the whole bladder infection, wanting to die, life is so hard in a wheelchair and my back is a complete mess business gave me some perspective.  It's like God just whispered to me that it's really not such a big deal if I don't get it quite right with this memory thing every single week!!

So,
I choose to look at the beautiful palms again that incredibly blue sky.
I listen intently to the birdsongs that start with a flurry around 6:30 am and I revel in all of the variety of their joyful little songs.
I look at the flowers, splashes of intense colour with intricate design again the green backdrop.
I see whales playing in the ocean, all the way from the Go Center Lanai!
I gratefully wheel up steep (for me) hills to get exercise.  So much more exercise than I ever get at home in the winter.
I watch the cute tiny green geckos darting along the walls.
I listen to the many languages spoken as the people stream along the sidewalks,
Red and Yellow, Black and White…so precious, each one.
I draw stories out of the sweet men that push me up and down the hill and I find that I love each one so much.
I can go and eat meals that are already prepared for me, three times I day if I want.
I hear the sounds of worship, prayer and God talk all over the campus.

I can focus on the fact that I can't get off this campus and that it's not fair that groups of people are happily heading down the hill to hang out at the ocean or to swim or eat while I lay in my bed resting my back.  OR I can focus on God and thank Him for this opportunity to somehow, in some minute way, share in His sufferings and achieve a weight of glory in the next life.

And meanwhile, I'm learning so much of the book of LUKE!
I cry as I read the stories and they are expanding in my brain and in my heart.
They are exploding with life and reality.

I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity.

So when the enemy pushes in hard, to rob me of my peace and to tempt me into self pity, I have ammunition!
Praise, Worship, Gratefulness, Prayer, and...
Jesus who fights for me, prays for me and LOVES ME!

Yesterday

Yesterday was a hard day.
It was the anniversary date of the accident which is not usually a big deal, but I was sitting about 200 yards away from the accident site and was practicing for my mid term presentation and I felt pretty emotional.

Then my midterm presentation went quite badly.
I kept losing my place and getting stuck.
So frustrating.
My brain just felt fried.
The instructor looked like he was falling asleep and I was putting myself to sleep!!

Anyways, in the morning for our intercession time we were to ask the Lord for a word for someone in the class.  This little paper was given to me later and I wasn't sure who written it, but it really touched my heart.  Especially the scripture at the bottom.

"I see a dancing angel spinning around with great joy and excitement.
This is who you are - He delights in you and takes great pleasure in you.
You are the apple of His eye,
The joy of His heart,
His treasured possession and gift to the nations,
That they may see His hand in and through your life."

"Do not be afraid for you shall go to all to whom I shall send you and you shall SPEAK whatever I command you.
For I AM WITH you says THE LORD"
Jeremiah 1:5

Wow - such a powerful word.
I receive it and want to meditate upon it!

And in the evening 4 of the ladies in my class came down and prayed over me at the fountains.
Beautiful, healing, precious words.

There's quite a few words about me traveling and speaking to the nations around here but it's hard to imagine with the difficulty I have getting around, but they are also praying that God will make a way so I just offer myself up to Him for His divine purposes…

And today, the sweet young Brazilian guy Rafael who pushes me up and down the hill gave all the ladies in the class a rose.
And I have a white one…