Almost History...

I wish somebody could just live for me right now.
And I could take a long holiday,
preferably with a properly functioning body,
and come back when everything is all sorted out.

My mind is a buzzing hive of activity.
WAY TOO MUCH GOING ON IN THERE
Day after day after day.
And it's not restful or peaceful.
Caught in the middle, lots of advice, lots of my own thoughts,
Feeling coerced, feeling powerful, feeling afraid,

Sometimes I'm so sure of myself
Then I'm guessing, then I'm really not sure at all.

Trying to find God in the midst of it all.
Afraid I might not hear from Him clearly
Afraid I will hear from Him clearly what I don't want to hear.

But I'm wearing down.
I can feel it.
Whether it's fear or submission to Him, or old patterns or new patterns.

Ultimately I really do want to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.
Because God's people always got in BIG TIME TROUBLE when they did what was right in their own eyes.

So I'm trying to avoid that, oh yes I am.
But I'm conflicted in the route to what is truly right.

So, very soon this will be history and I pray that I will be writing
from a peaceful heart.
In a wide and spacious place provided by HIM.
Wide and spacious in the spiritual sense.
Then I can handle the rest.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch where I don't want to be physically present,
Dear Moose developed a big problem on his hind end and Patrice and I were witnesses to the surgical intervention on those quarters.
We watched his tense body relax and fall into a deep coma under the influence of some lovely anesthetic.  While he was under we thought we'd get his full spa treatment done since he doesn't enjoy that kind of thing, being a guy and all.
So we got the vet to clip his nails (violent twitching resulted) and to pull
the excess hair out of his ears since he's prone to those ear infections.

Now we get to do epsom salt flushes to his hind quarters three times a day
Dose him with coloidal silver three times a day
And of course apply plenty of hot compressing to the afflicted area.

He is running around like the wounded animal he is and he usually ends up sitting on the filthy lawn with his wound and refusing to move.
Like a white statue with a halo around his face in the dark night on the lawn.
It would be funnier if we weren't so worried about him reinfecting the open wound.

Thankfully we got him back to bed and he is out for the count with a giant cone protruding around his head to keep him from providing his own wound care.

***************************

I hope my mind finds its way home in the night.
I'm getting tired of keeping myself so occupied because I'm afraid of thinking too hard.

I will bless the Lord who has counselled me
Indeed my mind instructs my in the night
I have set the Lord continually before me.
Because He is at my right hand I WILL NOT be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices.
EVEN MY FLESH WILL DWELL SECURELY.
Amen.