Very Good Friday

Prayers
Readings
Songs
Meditation
Remembering His suffering on this beautiful day...
Rejoicing
It Is Finished

Sunshine
Tulips
Warmth
Pruning
Greening Grass
Blue Skies

First lunch on the patio today after church.  Patrice created a brilliant carrot soup with tahini and homemade crackers.  Sara and I felt like we were in heaven...

Poor dear Moose had emergency surgery the other day on his hind quarters and he is quite traumatized, frantically  rushing about the house with his big head cone on, so we're giving him a break and trusting him to leave those parts alone so he can enjoy his afternoon in relative peace until the next "flushing" must occur.  Patrice has been an amazing nurse. As you can see in the bottom  picture below she brought his water right to him and put some panties on him to help him to refrain from removing his drainage tube. 

Almost History...

I wish somebody could just live for me right now.
And I could take a long holiday,
preferably with a properly functioning body,
and come back when everything is all sorted out.

My mind is a buzzing hive of activity.
WAY TOO MUCH GOING ON IN THERE
Day after day after day.
And it's not restful or peaceful.
Caught in the middle, lots of advice, lots of my own thoughts,
Feeling coerced, feeling powerful, feeling afraid,

Sometimes I'm so sure of myself
Then I'm guessing, then I'm really not sure at all.

Trying to find God in the midst of it all.
Afraid I might not hear from Him clearly
Afraid I will hear from Him clearly what I don't want to hear.

But I'm wearing down.
I can feel it.
Whether it's fear or submission to Him, or old patterns or new patterns.

Ultimately I really do want to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.
Because God's people always got in BIG TIME TROUBLE when they did what was right in their own eyes.

So I'm trying to avoid that, oh yes I am.
But I'm conflicted in the route to what is truly right.

So, very soon this will be history and I pray that I will be writing
from a peaceful heart.
In a wide and spacious place provided by HIM.
Wide and spacious in the spiritual sense.
Then I can handle the rest.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch where I don't want to be physically present,
Dear Moose developed a big problem on his hind end and Patrice and I were witnesses to the surgical intervention on those quarters.
We watched his tense body relax and fall into a deep coma under the influence of some lovely anesthetic.  While he was under we thought we'd get his full spa treatment done since he doesn't enjoy that kind of thing, being a guy and all.
So we got the vet to clip his nails (violent twitching resulted) and to pull
the excess hair out of his ears since he's prone to those ear infections.

Now we get to do epsom salt flushes to his hind quarters three times a day
Dose him with coloidal silver three times a day
And of course apply plenty of hot compressing to the afflicted area.

He is running around like the wounded animal he is and he usually ends up sitting on the filthy lawn with his wound and refusing to move.
Like a white statue with a halo around his face in the dark night on the lawn.
It would be funnier if we weren't so worried about him reinfecting the open wound.

Thankfully we got him back to bed and he is out for the count with a giant cone protruding around his head to keep him from providing his own wound care.

***************************

I hope my mind finds its way home in the night.
I'm getting tired of keeping myself so occupied because I'm afraid of thinking too hard.

I will bless the Lord who has counselled me
Indeed my mind instructs my in the night
I have set the Lord continually before me.
Because He is at my right hand I WILL NOT be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices.
EVEN MY FLESH WILL DWELL SECURELY.
Amen.

Blustery Days

We've had a few wonderfully warm days in March.
And lots of blustery cold ones!
Yesterday was the first day of Spring,
The day I chose for Patrice's birth.

She was supposed to arrive in early April, but of course with my condition creating unique conditions that arrival was arranged to come early.
It was one of the best days of my life.
And the gift that arrived that day just keeps on giving...
What a sweet deal that girl has turned out to be.
Unfortunately her birthday is not her favorite day, but as my friend told me, as her mother "it was a big day for me too!"

So I celebrated the goodness of God to me as I watched my super chef daughter moving around the kitchen creating beautiful things and filling the house with beautiful smells.  I bought her groceries to celebrate her birth, since food and the preparation of food makes her incredibly happy.

Then we took the doggies for a drive to the lake and had great fun watching them enjoy the water and socialize with other four footied fuzzy friends.

The clouds hung low and dark and the rain spattered around,
But by the time the hour of Patrice's birth arrived the sun broke through with blue skies.
Yup, that's the truth!

Know, therefore...

So, sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing exactly right or if I'm just finding scripture to back my situation.  But I'm just putting these ones down for the record.
Between God and I.
Kind of a "stone of remembrance" before the fact.
But in the Lord, living by faith, before and after and during can all converge somehow.
The Anakim ARE huge.
But my God is a consuming fire.
I just have to walk in the fear of Him, not doing whatever looks right in my eyes, but what IS right in His.
He will look after the rest.


"Come up here and I will look after what concerns you down there..."  is what He said to me not so long ago, in the tent of meeting...

Deuteronomy 9:1-3

 Hear, O Israel. You are to cross the Jordan today to go in to dispossess nations greater and mightier than you are, cities great and fortified up to the heavens. A people great and tall, the sons of the Anakim, whom you know and of whom you have heard it said, Who can stand before the sons of Anak?

³ Know therefore this day that the Lord your God is He Who goes over before you as a devouring fire. He will destroy them and bring them down before you; so you shall dispossess them and make them perish quickly, as the Lord has promised you.  


Deuteronomy 12 

8 You shall not do according to all we do here [in the camp] this day, every man doing whatever looks right in his own eyes.
9 For you have not yet come to the rest and to the inheritance which the Lord your God gives you.

10 But when you go over the Jordan and dwell in the land which the Lord your God causes you to inherit, and He gives you rest from all your enemies round about so that you dwell in safety,
11 Then there shall be a place which the Lord your God shall choose to cause His Name [and His Presence] to dwell there;

Signs of SPRING!!

This day is different.  Not just whispers of Spring.  Actual warmth from the sun.  

The birds are singing en masse - the excitement fills the fresh sweet air.

There is color in my garden.

Brave, sweet little crocuses...

 Drying clothes outside in the sunshine!

Tulips are well on their way out of the cold, dark earth...

Moose is loving life and wondering where the "balls" are...

The sky, so brilliant.
So blue...

The patio full of light and sunshine and promise!

The snow creeping slowly up to the tops of the hills...

My shadow, made by the warm, Spring sunshine...