The Gift of Family

And the month of July ends on such a cheerful note! A sunshiney day, children laughing, the BBQ sending out delicious scents, flowers, apple trees loaded with growing fruit and family coming together up at the orchard to celebrate.

My neice turned 29 today (for the first and only time, she says!) and it was a most wonderful reason to gather the family to celebrate. Four generations laughing around the table, eating the finest of fare and enjoying simply the best life has to offer. From the youngest at two, to the eldest at 81. The richness of such a gathering is not lost on me. The gift of it all is most amazing. God's grace and beauty in each face. Such uniqueness, hand picked and placed together for this short journey.

Bound together with love. OH I am so blessed!!

Despite the changes that have occurred in this group over the past years, there is something so powerfully enduring about the family unit. The solidness of my parents. A gift beyond measure. Nothing perfect here, except that God is in our midst. He creates the ability for us to laugh and to celebrate. To sing a corporate song over the honored one of the day and to gather for family pictures under the apple tree. The dog posing with her beloved tribe and the endless pictures snapped as we tried to get the two youngest both looking in the same direction with their tongues INSIDE their mouths.

Fun on the trampoline... more pictures, more laughter. Eager hands cleaning the kitchen...a kiss of gratitude. Wrapped up leftovers and bundling the children, gifts and flowers and guests into the cars.

I am truly grateful. Thank you once again Jesus for giving me far, far more than I deserve.

Just FUN

A God ordained day...full of surprises that bypassed the long list of "to do's" that I had begun to create upon awakening. There are so many things that need fixing and looking after right now. The computer, the car tires, finding a painter & stucco person, a yard that is out of control, carpet stains, homework!!! I woke up feeling distressed and wondering how I would get to all of these things...but God reminded me that it's just one thing at a time.

Of course. He is so incredibly sensible!

So I started with a shower (thank you Jesus for fresh running warm water, shampoo & clean towels!!! oooh I am just so blessed...) and thus began the day that didn't turn out at all as I had anticipated. I was hoping to get lots done on my list, but God just wanted me to have fun I guess. So he sent a sweet friend to pass the afternoon with. One that I hardly ever get to see - she flew in, visited with fun & fervor and flew out again. Knowing she was coming inspired me to get the house in order in fast motion which is always a bonus. Then it was dinner out with another friend that I rarely visit with on a social basis, the movie "EVAN ALMIGHTY" and a long visit.

The movie was just so much fun. I don't know when I've laughed so much, out loud at a movie. (well, except Nacho Libre which continues to amuse me greatly even after several viewings) I couldn't believe how much of GOD was in Evan Almighty!! A modern telling of some version of Noah's Ark with a bit of Moses' thrown in. (I guess they liked the staff and had to fit it into the story somewhere, even if it wasn't in the original - artistic lisence runs rampant). But the parallels were very cool to view in this day and age. So much about faith, sticking with your loved ones, trusting God, and obedience. I could hardly believe I was viewing this stuff in a movie theatre - God was just so THERE in a place where I don't often find Him! (Not many other people found Him there tonight either - there were maybe 10 of us in the whole theatre!)

The obedience thing seems to be a theme as of late with me and God. I'm wondering when I'll start to cooperate a little more quickly. But the movie even addressed the problem of our delays in moving ahead when God says "go"... There's grace for all of it and God is so merciful. But I don't want to continue to be one who obeys with delays...I'd like to delight God with some quicker obedience on a more regular basis. The disciplines...that eventually bring great reward.

So, tomorrow is another day and the list certainly hasn't gone anywhere. It'll be there when I wake up and His mercies are new EVERY MORNING!! So I ask for the grace to awaken with joy to do what Jesus calls me to... tomorrow.

it's going to be all right

In the midst of this gorgeous summer, with lovely, long lazy days full of light and heat and abundant life, I need to be reminded again that God is taking good care of me.

I got up this morning and headed into town for my eye appointment. My eyes are not so inflamed and irritated now so it's a better time to get them checked for a new prescription. I've noticed the vision in my left eye is definitely worse than the right and I'd like to get glasses that I can see clearly through. This is all a little disappointing because of all of the laser surgery I had done years ago, but I know enough to be grateful for how well I am able to see!! My eyes persistently seem to want to go back to their old ways! I left the eye doctor's office last time wanting to weep, because of how inflamed and scratched my corneas were. I was afraid of the blindness that afflicts many on my mother's side of the family. And now afflicts my mother.

So I returned for my new checkup and prescription. I found it incredibly hard to decide which was better "number one or number two"... And my left eye had a very hard time as it seemed to be hazy which I mentioned to the Dr. He carefully examined my eyes, again and again. He is very gentle, methodical and soft spoken. Finally he shared that his findings showed the beginnings of cataracts at the backs of both of my eyes. Worse in the left.

Wow. I never saw that one coming! At least not yet!! I thought old people got cataracts! Hmmm.

I left the office with my prescription and newfound knowledge. And I wanted to cry again. Even at this point trying to squeak out a word or two of worship...but not really entering into it. I got into the car where my daughter sat waiting and listening to the radio. The words of the song playing were something to the effect of "it's going to be all right". And I knew that God was speaking to me. I could choose to listen or enter into self pity.

It feels like another hammer blow. But He won't ever give me more than I can bear. He has promised that, I know. But, to tell you the truth I am amazed at times at how much He knows we are able to handle. And He just keeps trusting us to trust Him. Good thing the Holy Spirit lives inside of me, Kind Counsellor, Friend and Helper. I am amazed that He chooses to reside here, and am grateful beyond measure.

Beautiful, Beautiful Spirit of the Living God. Helping me to choose. Not to worry. To trust.. And to worship.

"To him who has ears to hear..." I need to stay closely tuned to that still small voice. The one that sometimes chooses to sing to me through the radio.

"it's going to be all right" Amen.

something new

I'm holding it carefully...daring to hope and believe. Something has fallen into my lap. Just like that. Out of the blue - a surprise from heaven it seems.

A vision. A future and a hope...

The last three years have been hard - physically and emotionally and in a lot of ways. Many things were pushed off my plate as I contemplated what I should, and could do with my limitations. Limitations which increased following that botched surgery I underwent in April 2004.

Words echo in my mind..."limited, but not restricted". They were spoken over me back in 1995 by someone in YWAM. I figured that was a no brainer. But they come back to me now and again. I haven't easily been held back in my life. I've got one of those strong independent personalities. But when a hammer hits you enough times, you begin to draw back and go into hiding. You begin to believe that you are more restricted than just limited and hope seeps out. You get really tired.

I knew I couldn't endure another lonely long winter like this last one was. Too much time, too little to do and too much "aloneness". By my own choice, strangely enough. But when you've struggled for so long on so many levels there's not tons of extra energy to go out and pursue relationships that you've let slide. Or to enter into the world of meetings and involvement and possible leadership again. It's become a strange world for me and in some ways I've felt more invisible and "unimportant" than I have for a long time. Maybe ever. It's not a bad thing to realize that you're somewhat dispensible and it's all God anyhow. It's just tough... and humbling.

So I thought about volunteering next fall at the school my daughter attends. I found out from my cousin that I could actually help kids with dyslexia and reading lag by taking a course this summer. It sounded pretty do-able. And it would give me something to focus on this summer as my daughter does her days of babysitting and other activities. Plus, I'd rather have an actual skill to go to the school with, rather than just be a body listening to kids read or recite. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just in me to want to do more. That part of me that worked hard to become a nurse to help others. That part of me that loves to teach kids how incredibly loved they are by God and how important and powerful His Word is for them.

I got the phone number of the woman in charge of the reading program and our conversations have been amazing. The woman who designed this course has captured my heart with her broad vision and her incredible love for God and people. I am amazed at her ability to look at life through this spiritual lens that sees much more broadly than learning something to teach others. Her perspective goes right to the vision of seeing the cycle of poverty in Canada broken for many through what she offers. Wow. I don't usually think like that but it inspires me immensely. So much so that I'm getting excited to get on board. In a bigger sense than just learning the course. She's inviting me in at a whole different level than I had initially anticipated.

Somehow, as we spoke our hearts connected and I felt like I had met a kindred spirit. The very same verse that I love to teach my Sunday School girls to give them a life vision, she began to expound on, and right there something clicked.

"For We are God's WORKMANSHIP, created in Christ Jesus,
To do good works, which God prepared, IN ADVANCE for us to do.
EPHESIANS 2:10

Another level of this verse, to lift kids out of traps and prisons they've been labeled into. To give them a future and a hope. To practically show them that they are a masterpiece, created to excell and to capture a vision of what they can do and be. To do something with the talents that God has given us. It's our responsibility to use those talents to their fullest. I was reminded by this incredible woman of that as well.

So, all this to say that I'm thinking, really thinking about what has been offered to me and offering it back up to God. It seemingly fell out of heaven, this opportunity to do what I love and to teach others to do the same.

If it's you God, I ask you to keep this vision stirring brightly in my heart. It's been a long time since I've felt a passion like this. It's been a long time since I've felt a hope for my future.

I'm excited! What does this mean for me?

And God says..."Behold I make all things new".

Traveling Lightly

At my sister's party, one dear friend gave her a beautiful print from an artist in our church. He also gave her a powerful scripture & music CD. Neither of these items were new - but he said once he's had something for a year he feels it's fine to pass it along. So he said the gift was from him and the artist. SWEET! I like that concept. ALOT!!

I've thought about the freedom this man possesses. He is one of the giants of the faith in my book. I hold him in highest esteem, and even though he possesses very little in the earthly sense, he is soooo RICH in the Spirit. He packs a big whack of the Spirit of God wherever he goes - carrying the most precious possession in great abundance, and freely giving it out wherever he travels. He spends hours walking and praying and meditating on the Word of God. So he's really, really rich in those things that matter. I am enriched when I spend time with him.

So, I wanna learn from him cause He's imitating Christ! Travelling lightly. Unencumbered, but rich in the things that will last into eternity and benefit everyone He meets. It certainly doesn't mean I have to get rid of everything, but I sure can't let things possess me. I've inherited some of that "post war" mentality - being a first generation Canadian whose parents went through the war and had to make do with very very little. I have that tendency to want to keep things "just in case". Not a good idea if I'm wanting to downsize and simplify.

Working this out on a practical level is a scarey, but intriguing concept. My life is somewhat complicated, simply because of the fact that I need so many things just to get me through a day. Wheelchairs, medical supplies, car lifts, hand controls, adapted housing...on and on the list seems to go. But even despite all those "necessities", I still have waaay too much junk that I drag along with me. What's with that? I barely made a dent in the huge pile the other day when I worked through my correspondance box and started in the cassettes.

So I'm going to ask Jesus to help me to simplify. To be generous, not to hoard, to give freely because I've received so much. And to tell you the truth it scares me to ask this of Him. He takes me at my word when I ask Him to deal with areas in my life. I shouldn't really be surprised at the ruthless pruning my life has been undergoing. And now I'm asking for more? Sheesh...but there's freedom at the end of it. I know it will be worth it if I'll just cooperate. Sooner rather than later I hope.