Garden Visits, Tears and Worship

It's really such a mixed badg this journey to hospice and all that it means.

I actually don't think I had a choice and I landed well.)

I continue to feel a bit conflicted about what my body is really doing.

I have good days, I have visits and then I sometimes crash and sleep and sleep.

I feel an inordinate responsibility to people I love, to spend time with them but every day is not the same so it's hard to plan ahead. 

Tears are sometimes close to the surface and the quiet times of reminiscing with Daniel and Patrice are the most precious.

Sometimes the tears become torrents which is heart wrenching .

So we cry and express so much love again and again,

Truly a great test of faith to trust the Father with my (His) greatest treasures and with my precious family.

But I'm not in charge so I linger and wait..

The times when people come in with a guitar and gently sing over me and we worship are pure gold.

I wish I was better at setting those times up but it takes energy and I don't always know what the time will hold. 

And energy can't be counted on to show up when it's needed,

Seems to be getting a little lower in the gas tank.

But the night my entire book club dropped in I rallied and we had a sweet time of laughter and communion and sharing which was a precious gift!  

Look at that bunch of beauties!

I am surrounded by goodness and Love.

God shows up in a thousand ways...