On the Platform

Corrie Ten Boom once said something about God giving us the ticket when it's time to board the train.

Something about not worrying ahead of time about how things are going to turn out or wondering how you'll have the grace to handle certain things when they come.

Well, I feel as though I've been sitting on a platform waiting for a ticket, believing it's coming and meanwhile doing my best to enjoy the view from here, the company, and whatever snacks are being served while I wait...

The fragility of life is looming large these days on many fronts.

Moose has been slowly wasting away before our eyes, getting thinner and thinner but still enjoying the ball when it's thrown and taking long walks out in the winter air. 

He turns his nose away from any tasty morsels I offer him and I've been forcing a bit of honey water with cannabis oil in to keep him comfortable.

This has gone on for over a month now.

He is squeezing every last morsel out of his time here!

Thankfully he doesn't seem to be in any pain.

His presence is so precious and his big eyes stare up at me, seemingly searching mine as if he's wondering what's going on.

So we are enjoying the view from here as best as we can, making the most of moments, giving lots of love and occasionally the tears are falling.

And meanwhile Dad has been having a heck of a time recovering from a surgery he had on January 6, ostensibly to make his life easier. 

He ended up with all sorts of complications and it's been a fragile time with him and mom as well.

She carries his pain, living so closely with him and it has drained her.

She speaks of wanting to go home and I don't blame her.

She's gotten quite blind and tires easily. Plus her appetite is gone robbing her of one of the few pleasures she has left.

She keeps counting her blessings though and is as sweet as ever.

Dad has been understandably frustrated by all the kafuffle and is so weak.

It's difficult to go there and to see the fragility and helplessness.

It feels heavy and I also feel helpless and frustrated at times.

 There have been many phone calls with health professionals, a long visit to Emergency with both of them, picking up supplies to try to help with the recovery process and Elsie has spent lots of time keeping Mom company. 

However it is a privilege to be able to enter in and help where possible.

I go away feeling the weight of it all and wonder when there will be relief.

But today it looked more hopeful.

The lawyer showed up to sign the papers confirming that the condo is finally really sold!  Big win there, even if we had to lower the price substantially.

And the nurse showed up to change Dad's dressing and the leaking has finally stopped so there is more peace. 

I'm grateful that I can come home and put on worship music, spend time in prayer and get recalibrated.

I feel the great, constant, amazing, goodness of God in the midst of all of this.

He is here on the platform with me, offering me a hot chocolate and croissant as I wait on Him and with Him.

He will give me the ticket when I need it.

Meanwhile I will praise Him, the giver of every good and perfect gift.