The Thinning Veil

On the 5th day of their stay at the care home Dad wasn't very responsive and had developed a deep cough.

On the morning of the 6th  I got a phone-call from the care home.as Dad had developed a fever and it was apparent that the end was imminent.

I got on the phone and was trying to arrange the "end of care" plan Dad had so diligently worked to obtain, but unfortunately with the move to this facility they were in a new "jurisdiction" so the care plan was not valid.

I just wanted Dad to be pain free and it was apparent he was quite uncomfortable, especially when he was moved.

It wasn't always easy to find staff to make sure that his pain meds were being delivered consistently so that was hard on me. 

Dear little Mom, faithful to the end kept watch over her beloved husband.

The best companion anyone could ever hope for. 

Anita came in to offer support and to give her medical opinion on how long she thought we had.  Phone calls were made and Patrice drove down to be with us and to say goodbye to her dear Opa. 

She was a very sweet presence.

We called Daniel as well but it was his birthday and he and Nicole were in Whistler so it was too difficult and there was possibly not enough time to make the drive to Kelowna so I held the phone to Opa's ear while Daniel spoke his emotional farewells.

I began to call each of the other out of town grandkids and gave them each an opportunity to speak whatever words of love and farewell that they needed to say.

It was  a truly sacred time and incredibly precious to watch Dad's facial expressions shift as he heard these beloved voices bidding him tearful farewells.

His eyes were not open but I could see him responding.

The vigil had begun.

Words of love were spoken.

Elsie and Tante Hilda arrived and Anita dropped in again.

The staff were managing his fever and pain with medications as well as they were able.

There was a gentle, peaceful presence in the room as we surrounded Dad and he laboured, breathing heavily and steadily, his chest rising and falling.

We spoke, and sang.

Waiting, watching, praying...

Dear, sweet Dad, finally making his way through the valley of the shadow of death...

The veil was thinning and we were the physical cloud of witnesses to this sacred rite of passage. 

Vic arrived late in the evening after enduring some delays in his flights, but thankfully he was made it in time. 

Seeing that Dad was breathing steadily he decided to head to Elsie's for a sleep as he was exhausted after his travels.

The family was now complete and our goodbyes had been said...

Moving Day

The hospice decided that Dad was more of a "long term care" patient since he didn't seem to be actively dying so it was arranged that Dad and Mom would move into the only available place that had a two bed room. 

It is not far from Costco in Rutland, but not really "on the way" to anywhere.

I guess we have to stay flexible!

Just like that we are starting off in a new spot and getting Mom and Dad settled in their new space.

Mom is definitely confused about the new arrangement and I got a call from her (through the staff) wondering where we all are.

I explained that they lived there now and I was at home but she was not at all happy about things.

Elsie and I take turns visiting, usually both of us going at different times so that Mom is kept occupied and comforted.

When I would arrive they would be sitting together parked in front of a TV or Mom would be sitting in their room in front of Dad who was mostly to be found in the massive rolling recliner.

When I asked Mom what she would do here all day she said "I'll hold Dad's hand".

Such devotion!

Here they are in their new bedroom side by side.

Holding hands.

How cute is that?

And here is their lovely big view window.

Another adjustment for sure..

Long Term Care

Our beautiful season at hospice ended abruptly when a room for two was found at a local long-term care facility.  

Here is their new home.

We've got mom and Dad settled into their spacious room with a view, trying to cozy the place up with some of their own stuff but there is a tremendous amount of confusion on mom's part about what the heck is going on.

Even though Elsie and I spend time with them there,  coming at separate times so that there is more "coverage" I have still gotten phone calls from mom asking where we are and why have we left them there alone? 

She seems forlorn and lost thinking we have abandoned her and Dad.

It's heart wrenching.

Dad doesn't have much to say about things but I believe he is happy to finally have mom with him full time. 

The place itself is large and roomy and the staff are friendly and kind.  We make use of the piano and occasionally play songs while the residents are eating.

Mom is very devoted to Dad, sitting with him wherever he is placed in his large recliner or laying beside him in bed.

Sometimes I arrive and find mom just sitting in her chair in front of Dad as he sleeps. I'm wondering how this is all going to pan out...

Long days full of next to nothing except mealtime.

Dad will eat if he was fed but he is pretty sleepy and weak and very thin.

I love this picture below of Dad smiling while mom is holding his hand. (I used the picture later for the memorial service and I don't know how to get the words to disappear, but they are very fitting.)

Meanwhile, back at the orchard the apples are ripening and preparations are being made to bring in the harvest.  

God knew I would need to have my cup filled up with these endless drives through breathtaking beauty...

Fleeting Fall Beauty

The richness of the setting sun was casting it's warmth on some little mushrooms I found hiding in the trunk of the apple tree.

The beauty of this season and the fullness of the colours is unsurpassed.

I'm glad it's still warm enough to be getting mom and Dad outside.  

In fact, it was so lovely that I got Dad suntanning!

I figured the Vitamin D couldn't hurt and it's good to breath in that beautiful fall air while napping.

The flowers in the hospice garden continue to delight me.

I'm so grateful that we've been able to make use of this beautiful space for the past number of weeks.

Life is so much slower in many ways when you are aged or looking after the aged.

There is time to stop and smell the flowers...

and to take a multitude of pictures.

Trying to capture the fleeting beauty of a garden.

I had time to go and sit at the lakeside - this is one of my frequent haunts.

The hospice is centrally located so it's easy for me to run errands and to get Mom back and forth from Tante Hilda's when necessary.

The staff have been complaining that mom is confused and wandering so I haven't been able to leave her with Dad unless I stay as well.

I've been watching the season change as I make my treks into town.

When my Virginia Creeper turns red it is a sure sign that we are moving into colder weather.

The two little cutie pies keeping each other company.

Here is mom holding a pretty card that Becci had sent her.

Loving thoughts from family near and far.

Genetics and Legacy

Marc and Tiffany chose this stellar spot to make their wedding vows to one another and I had to race  up many hills to get there on time.

But the long drive was worth it!

Thankfully I didn't miss anything and I was able to watch the wedding as the sun set with all of these dear friends.

It was a very unique wedding, as Marc is never one to err on the side of convention, and a good time was had by all!

It was a cold evening as it had recently rained so I didn't stay too long.

Also, the steep hills and mud kept me from moving around too much, but at least I was part of the cloud of witnesses!

I made someone run down to get a picture of my friend Asher who was the DJ for the dance party.

Asher knows his music and has all sorts of fancy equipment so I was so proud of him for doing an amazing job.

Look at that smile!

Since it was a Gagnon wedding not only Daniel was in town (and in the wedding party) but Patrice came up as well.

Thank goodness for weddings and funerals to keep us all connected as life gets busier and families get bigger and more spread out.

Patrice is so very loving to her Opa.

It warms my heart to see how she cares for him and how deeply she loves him.

This picture pretty much says it all!

I'm so glad Patrice was there the evening that I leaned over Opa to say goodbye and told him "God is with you!" so she could hear him reply emphatically... "God is with US!"

It makes this all so much easier somehow.

Opa with his youngest granddaughter.

Genetics and Legacy and best of all... Love.

Life With Family & Friends

It's funny how I keep thinking that once life "settles down" that things will be more "normal".

But we are just in another season of "normal" -  that of caring for aging parents with a most beautiful and supportive family. 

Vic and Marcia have been frequent fliers in these parts over the past few years as things have gotten more intense with mom and dad.

So we will just "carpe diem" and make the most of whatever season we happen to be passing through.

Along with the additional "family" that God has surrounded me with... Jenn & Derek, Anita and Ollie...

Grateful for a table that has leaves so it can expand and how the Lord is teaching me to keep the door open and to share.

I'm not always so good at that but I'm praying for more grace.

Sometimes I get afraid that it's "too many" and I won't have "enough", but  that's not the expansive generous nature of my Father.

On a fine September evening Jenn & I took a ride down the front road together.

She had picked up some candy cigarettes from the corner store since I was going to be taking my Harley for a spin and it just seemed fitting.

Sometimes we just need to be a little bit silly!

The cigarettes were delicious, a blast from our past. 

Glad for this fun friendship that has grown over the past year of doing life together.

It is the season of deep blue fall skies and apples hanging thick and ripe on the trees.

The birds are doing well together and are an endless source of entertainment and friendly sounds.

Anita is faithfully taking Ladybug for long walks down the greenway so their relationship is also growing tighter.

When Anita shows up I begin to fade into the background, but that's fine with me.

We can share the love!