Rescued!

Something that was looming off in the distance for the last year and a half has now grown very, very close...within arms reach actually. I have known for quite some time that my very dear daughter would be taking a trip to Mexico this Spring with her entire Grade 11 class. It was fun to dream about at a distance and to talk about, but some mornings I would wake up and want to cry with the reality that this trip was becoming. Suddenly there were scuba diving classes and immunizations and the funds had to be in. Now it is three sleeps away and I need to let go....and trust God on a whole new level! I am thrilled for her, but at the same time I had been wishing that I would have something exciting to look forward to as well to carry me through these weeks. I didn't know how or when God would provide for me but He has. I don't have to anticipate these weeks alone, because God has set me in the midst of a family in my very own home!

And He, once again, has exceeded my hopes and expectations!!

At the end of March my lovely neice, her vivacious husband and their two precious kids moved in with us!! It was a rescue for them and a rescue for me and we have all been thoroughly enjoying this little community living arrangement. It is temporary but oh so perfect and my cup is filled to overflowing! I awaken to the happy voices of small children chattering away in the kitchen and am greeted with cheery hellos and big smiles from the family when I emerge from my bedroom. I am blessed to have my own room to escape to if I need my quiet time and they completely respect my privacy. They love the great outdoors and the yard is perfect for the kids. I love the little faces pressed against my bedroom window smiling and asking if they are allowed to feed the cat or showing me the latest butterfly they caught.

I am amazed at how healing community can be. To have people to sit and visit with over meals...something so often taken for granted but so life giving and precious. Sharing responsibilies and rejoicing together over the beauty of springtime which is finally bursting out over the landscape. The incredible joy of having small children exclaiming over the miracles of everyday life which we would otherwise miss.

Thankfully this is a very talkative and interactive bunch so I fit in just fine! Perhaps my introverted daughter is overwhelmed at times, but I feel right at home!! I am so grateful to God for this season and can see my future in a new light having experienced this richness. It won't always be this easy and delightful, but for now I will say THANKYOU and will continue to trust God for all the different seasons of life that are yet to unfold. He has proved Himself so faithful and so kind at a time when I really needed to be encircled and loved.

Well Loved

It was my birthday on Sunday!! Again! I celebrated with a picnic in my big backyard, inviting a wonderful assortment of family & friends, old and young, those known long and those more recently acquainted . Of course the guest of honor was Jesus and I made sure to ask Him to be there. He was, flowing like oil and wine, bringing joy and life.

We prayed, we sang, we ate and tasted of God's richest gifts. Relationships, friendships, love and laughter, food and fellowship in the grand outdoor cathederal. A frosty, overcast spring morning finally thawed into a warm afternoon when a few rays of sun broke through and we were able to enjoy our time together on the back patio. Children running and laughing. Teenagers huddled together on the trampoline, a group roasting marshmallows around the fire, and others on lawn chairs enjoying the tasty fare.

It brings me such joy to bring people together, to have celebrations in and around my home, to see people discovering each other and enjoying community. So that was my gift...Jesus moving in us and amongst us. The saved and the not yet saved, mingling together so that we could "taste and see that the Lord is GOOD!".

Flowers, gifts, cards and hugs...friends serving selflessly to make sure my party was a success. I am so very well loved. My precious parents & family members arriving and seeking me out to shower me with love. My amazing and dearly loved friends surrounding me and reminding me of how rich I am. So undeserving, yet well loved, nonetheless. So much grace...

A celebration of life. A celebration of Jesus... family, love, community, laughter... We choose to carve out times to celebrate as we journey along on this uncertain road leading to a sure and certain place. Oh the great joy of that knowledge.

Thank you Jesus. I welcome change & I welcome Your plans for this year. I want to bring You pleasure. I want to be Your friend and to learn to walk with you and not just try to live for you. Big aspirations but I have a very big God living inside little me. All things are possible, you said, so I am asking and looking forward to receiving.

Oh to be, a friend of God...

Low Ebb

Kinda funny....I haven't done a post in ever so long so I thought it was time to re-enter the blogger's world. However, upon trying to locate my blog, I was unable to do so. I had to look on my friend's site to find the reference to mine! Then when i tried to enter I discovered that I had forgotten the password. My goodness. So now I have a new password.

I was just wanting to explain that my life has felt like it's been on low ebb these past weeks. Perhaps these past months, when I come to think of it. Maybe even longer! I'm so glad that I don't have to perform for God or I'd be in big trouble. There's so little energy most days to do even the simplest things. But He Loves me!

And thus I continue to swim in oceans of grace. Ever so grateful.

God gave a wonderful time of respite during our trip to Hawaii and YWAM in February. It was more than I could have hoped for. Incredibly rich in beauty, relationships, teaching and worship. I am amazed when I think of how deeply I drank of the Lord's goodness and kindness during that time. I felt so loved, so connected and so hopeful. Old friendships were rekindled and new ones started. The Father reminded me again and again that I need not worry, just rest and trust and wait on Him.

So I returned home with my head held high and great expectation in my heart. I found great encouragement in the fact that this year on the Jewish calendar is somehow translated into the year of a new life cycle. I welcome that with all my heart!! I am ready for new beginnings and am eager to see what the Lord has in store. I'm needing something to pull me forward and to give me motivation...

There has been change in the wind for some time for me, but it hasn't yet been revealed what it will look like.

Letting go of this latest stage of mothering "children" has been exceedingly painful. I am so glad that Patrice is still at home with me, but I have mostly found in her an excellent friend, an equal in many ways and an emerging adult. So I must brace myself for her upcoming 6 week school trip to Mexico and ultimately for her moving on in God's paths where she will no longer be physically so close to me.

So perhaps grieving has had something to do with the "low ebb" I have felt, even though it's a normal, healthy letting go.

I'm so thankful for my students at the school who give me a reason to get up and get going every morning! It's been fun and hugely fulfilling to watch the lights go on in these ones who previously found reading to be their Mount Everest. What a gift to spend time with them and to watch them labour so diligently and then start to READ!! What a lovely miracle to behold and to be a part of.

And so I continue on. To wait on God to fill up my tank, to bring resolution to those places in my life that are feeling unfinished, and praying that He will "restore to me the joy of my salvation". (Psalm 51)

It doesn't feel very clear, but I know He holds my future and my today. So I humbly wait. Unable to be a superstar of any sort. But I know that I carry presence of the Living God within this broken humble frame. And that is enough. May I bring pleasure to His heart.

Purpose

The day is bright. Winter is here in her full glory. Snow... stark branches revealing a broad landscape. Blue skies and crisp cold air. Wispy clouds over snow capped hills. Brave birds looking for food and chirping in spite of the scarce fare.

Much to my delight and surprise I'm enjoying winter. I had declared not long ago that I HATED winter, but God rescued me and I am able to enjoy the season despite the increased darkness and cold.

I marvel sadly how long it has been since I have posted anything here. It would cross my mind on occasion, but somehow I've discovered that I am not one who can consistently pump out daily editorials such as I find on other blogs that I visit. My admiration for these ones has grown and I must be content with my abilities and the waxing and waning of energy which dictates my schedule.

Part of the reason I believe for my lack of energies invested here is that I have begun to TEACH!! My mind has been busied in a new direction and my days, thankfully, have more structure and purpose. The course that I began to study this summer to help those with dyslexia and reading lag has led me into a different world which has broadened my horizons.

I have had the privilege of working with three students who have enriched my life and whom I have been able to practically help. We have such fun together (when the lessons are not too overwhelmingly exhausting for them) and I find that this is actually about much more than helping kids to decode words. What a privlege to be able to listen to their hearts and to speak encouragement into these precious ones who struggle with something most of us take completely for granted. In turn, their friendship and trust has warmed my heart and given me hope. Interacting with their families has also enriched my life and increased my admiration for those who pour out immense energy and love on their struggling children.

I have been humbled by my lack of experience and meager knowledge, but God has partnered me with the designer of the program who speaks constant encouragment into me and who sees who I will become rather than how little I presently know. Our common desire to love Jesus in practical ways by helping others is a great common denominator and her patience with me and infectious optimism in this program is such a gift to me. Despite my stumbling along and inexperienced efforts I have seen much improvement in my students which leads me to want to know more and to continue on with this discipline. I am trusting that what God has begun, He will use for His glory as I continue to push myself to increase my knowledge and understanding of the myriad of ways that different minds learn and how to match their learning styles with suitable teaching!

So, that's where I've been. In the midst of all of that I've had a most delightful Christmas season with many celebrations and gatherings in my home. Singing of carols with family around the tree, delicious feasts, laughter, gifts, games and fabulous friends. I am rich beyond compare. I am grateful to the Father of Lights for coming into this dark world and setting my heart aflame with passion for Him. I'm thankful for the new beginnings I am experiencing and for those which are yet to come!

Divine Extravaganza

Fall....divinely beautiful.

Exquisite colors against the backdrop of ever changing skies.
Blowing winds toss flaming leaves about in a delightful frenzy.
Grass still green and lush, a carpet rolled out for the divine extravaganza.
Flowers proudly displaying their profusion of bright hues in a grande finale before the curtain drops.
Sun breaks through and bits of warmth remind us of the not so distant summer.
Harvest abounds...apples hang thick like candies on the trees and gardens render the last of their produce into eager hands.
Huge bales of hay decorate fields as they await transport to dry winter homes.

How is it that before the darkest, coldest season there is such earthy celebration?
Rich colors, smells and tastes. Cool, brisk winds awaken the senses.

And then the curtain begins to drop.
Slowly, but surely, darkness encroaches, cold brings dormancy and death.

But wait...listen carefully for the quickening heartbeat!

Is this the Creator's dance of celebration?
His excitement finds expression and it is glorious in its beauty.
Knowing that one day soon there will be no more death.
The great reunion is near, the coming unity and the lifting of the veil.

Sing, dance with Him!! Don't fear the darkness or impending death.
It is merely foreshadowing of brightness, of unending light.

Celebrate the darkness which leads to eternity!!

times of refreshing

It's been over a month since I've had anything to say here... And looking at my last post I realize it's probably time to update!

I'm moving on and am not stuck back in that sad season of saying goodbye to my precious dog and the ending of summer.

Oh the goodness of God. Seasons change, There are beginnings and there are endings and there are the inbetween times to persevere and give thanks to God for the gift of life. And I do want to give thanks. It feels like a new season has begun in many ways.

After our tearful farewell to our dog, we were thankfully able to take our summer vacation. It was a good time to get away and what an adventure we had! It was a road trip down to the Oregon Coast, so we left with high hopes, laughter in our hearts and a good friend to enjoy the journey with. Ah the joys of zipping down the highways with music flowing all around us and marvelous scenery to delight our eyes.

That first day was a whopper to say the least! We took a "wrong turn" at Naches and ended up driving for hours and hours through some amazingly gorgeous national park in Washington. We were stunned by the beauty and this whole part of the trip caught us completely by surprise! Isn't that just like God to turn a "mistake" into something beautiful. And the really lovely part of this whole turn of events was that we ended up in the area where our former nanny lives, so that settled the whole issue of whether or not we would have time to stop in and see her. She was not originally on the itinerary, although there was a desire to see her. After making the phone call to arrange a visit, we spent a long, grueling time searching for a place to sleep. It was like we had landed on a planet with no hotels, and we were in the city of Tacoma! That was beyond our comprehension and at that late hour of the day we were desperate to crawl out of the car and SLEEP! After circling and driving and stopping for directions more than once we found a luxurious place to lay our heads and decided we wouldn't worry about the cost. Exhaustion overruled my plans to find a budget motel!!

After a sweet reunion with our nanny, lots of pictures, laughter and visiting, we gathered in a circle to commit our ways to the Lord. I do believe that was a God ordained detour and am grateful that we don't have to get bent out of shape when we take "apparent" wrong turns. What an amazing Shepherd we have...all knowing, ever loving and oh so trustworthy.

I did question Him a number of times during the trip concerning the difficulty of finding accessible bathrooms and lodging as this trip was particularly challenging in that area. However, we had a wonderful, wonderful time and the beauty and fun was definitely worth it! Ah the ocean, the the endless beaches, the sunsets, the shopping, the sand dunes, the marine life & the winding roads along the most incredible scenery, Our cups were full to overflowing. Thank you Jesus for times of refreshing!!

The day we spent driving home was once again full of surprises. We got up at some unearthly hour in the black of night so the girls could get home in time for a rodeo. The ride into the morning light was gloriously beautiful and the conversation and music were a delight. We were making such good time. Amazingly good time...when the car lost power. I pulled over to the side of the highway and a new adventure began. A kind motorist rescued us, in every sense of the word. He was a good Samaritan if I have ever seen one and he took us in his car to a place where we could "refresh ourselves" and where my phone had reception so I could begin the fun of trying to find a tow truck on the Sunday of a long weekend. Even though I had BCAA, they left me in charge of finding my own truck and the good samaritan was very helpful in that area. He took the girls to his home while I stayed in the vehicle to wait for the truck.

It was a good three hour wait and thankfully I am quite equipped for and accustomed to this activity. I was finally able to organize the crazy mess that the car had turned into and I felt very accomplished as I busied myself with this. I then worked my way through Bible readings, taking pictures of my scenic surroundings, writing in my journal, and snacks and drinks that were left in the vehicle. At this point I was very grateful for a couple of small cool packs we had along, as I was really starting to heat up! I was applying them to my neck and chest as the day grew increasingly hot. I think by the last hour the still air had reached around 34 degrees, so I was grateful when a car would zoom by and give me a bit of a breeze. The sight of that tow truck was a VERY welcome one and he just hoisted the vehicle up on the back of his tow truck, WITH ME STILL IN IT and away we went. I wondered if this was legal, but it sure simplified matters and I was ever so happy to have that breeze blowing through my window to cool me down.

Eventually the girls and I met up at the border where we travelled together the rest of the way home, having been rescued by another good Samaritan. I was very grateful to have BCAA, as the entire trip home for my car was paid for. (I am hoping for a reimbursement that was promised for the US side of the journey!) Needless to say, the rodeo didn't happen, but we came home with alot of wonderful memories and though we were exhausted we were safe and sound. Many thanks to our precious Jesus for an unforgettable adventure!

My Precious Jewel

My sweet doggie returned to the dust yesterday. Many tears have been shed over the past few weeks as I have watched her slowly grow weaker...but we were still sharing sweet times and she was able to enjoy wandering through the orchard and visiting with us as we sat out on the patio drinking in the summer beauty. How she loved the parties on the patio when she might enjoy table scraps and just spend time with those she loved. She just assumed that everyone loved her...what a nice way to be. Digging herself a nice cool hole at the side of the house (or in my flower beds!!) to pass the hot afternoon hours or laying under the oak tree munching on a bone. The precious welcome as she recognized me and ran to meet me when I drove up the driveway, joining me in the garage and waiting for her neckrub as I got out of the car. Oh how she would leap and dance for joy when she knew I was driving out into the back field with her to give her a run around the orchard...and then the race back to the house along the side of the road. She got pretty good at taking shortcuts =), but she was fast!

The memories flicker through my mind, and I am brought to tears again...what a sweet gift she was for us. Such a gentle, kind, big beasty. Those lovely hazel eyes with the bushy brows hanging down over them. The beard, so comical & unladylike...often dripping with water from her latest visit to the watering hole - giving her the nickname "drool". Sweet, sweet doggie, such a gift from God for this season of our lives. I am so grateful to God for her and for the comfort and joy and laughter she brought to us.

God in His great kindness gave us these sweet animals to treasure. They speak to me of His character. The simple, pure devotion in Jewel was another reflection of the character of God in my life. Her name, which she arrived at our home with, suited her perfectly. A precious gem, a jewel, she surely was. My heart aches, but I know I will heal. Just an animal...but one that I will never forget and feel privileged to have spent these years with. She was like a little piece of heaven here on earth and I surely hope the Lord has a nice place for her to enjoy wherever she is now. I can still hope that I'll see her in heaven, I don't care where the whole theology thing fits in. It comforts me to know that a God who is kind and creates such beautiful animals for us to enjoy will look after them as well. Wouldn't it be just so fun to have her be a part of the crowd that greets me when I get to my heavenly home?!

Thank you Jesus for the gift of Jewel. Thank you for your kindness to us through her. Thank you Jesus for the precious and beautiful creation which you gave us so generously to enjoy. A heart that thought up & created Jewel is a most beautiful & precious heart indeed. I love you so much, my precious Jesus...