Winter...Again???

It's just a really good thing that our spiritual state does NOT depend upon our emotions. Some days are just really flat - but God is just as alive and well and loving on these days as He was when He blessed me with that special visitation just 2 days ago! It's unfortunate that in my fleshly state even the weather can affect my emotions to some degree. For instance...

It's been looking like spring and as you can read over some of my previous posts I've been rather excited about this turn of events following a long, cold, snowy winter. SO!... when the ice had finally thawed off my driveway and the beige, waiting grass was showing under my naked apple trees I felt HOPE & DELIGHT! The dripping, thawing, emerging landscape was warming under the sun's rays and my heart was growing lighter by the day!

This morning I awoke to what would have been a much anticipated and delightful landscape had it been December 24th... but it's February 25th!! The trees were laden with a thick layer of heavy snow, the huge flakes were falling steadily and it was winter all over again. But alas, I have been blessed with energy these past two weeks so I blitzed into my day and decided to stay indoors and accomplish great things. "Great things" nowadays means making the kids a smoothie in the morning, organizing a few drawers and getting some computer work done by noon. It's all relative at this point in my life with my body being in the shape it's in and me pushing 45. (By the way, many thanks to my dear friends who have prayed me through the doldrums this past winter - it's been a long one in more ways than one). I feel like I am coming out the other end of a dreary tunnel and it's good to see the light - even if it is reflected off this fresh snowfall!

Putting everything into perspective was a sweet hymn I read the words to and listened to on You Tube that goes like this:

"God be in my head, and in my understanding,
God be in my eyes, And in my looking.
God be in my mouth, And in my speaking
God be in my heart, And in my feeling;
God be at my death And at my departing."
(Walford Davies)

So, YES LORD, this is my prayer...may I be consumed with you. On the "flat days" and on the easy days! On the sunny days and on the dark ones. Be so much in me, that your presence will drip off me and onto those I am privileged to be with. Be so much in me that I will not be a drain on others, but will be a conduit of your sweetness and hope. You are never discouraged and never discouraging...and YOU live in ME! That's a very good thing. Smile. Those words are so small and inadequate for something so earthshattering. But they will have to do, along with a gigantic thankyou and kiss from me to You!

EXTRAVAGANCE

Yesterday as I lay resting in bed with my little niece snuggled in beside me I started talking to God... Knowing I have given up so little for "Lent" I don't have huge expectations, just a realization that fasting is biblical and therefore valuable. Suddenly, in my communing with God, His presence just landed on me so intensely and intimately. His "words" as it were, became clearer - His desire to be with me was amazing and I just felt His pleasure in spending that time alone with me. If that isn't a wonder then I don't know what is!!
It's been so long since I've had Him visit me like this. So I spoke with Him - can't remember the exact words but the essence of His reply was that even when I just give up a very little thing for Him, He responds in a hugely extravagant way. I saw a little stream of water (His presence) flowing through my life suddenly becoming a torrent of water - a gurgling laughing river of His presence... OH. MY. GOODNESS!!

A visitation...a sweet time of realization - revelation. Immanuel - God with us...with ME! I am so incredibly blessed. Never alone. Never abandoned. Never without HOPE. Always Him with me. A gift unspeakable, barely fathomable. Thank you Precious Wonder for visiting with me - even though you're always with me, those times of revelation change me and help me to move ahead.

Suddenly giving up a tiny bit and seeing how the stream becomes a torrent makes me want to give up a little bit more. And in thinking these thoughts, His thoughts somehow intercepted mine again, letting me know that this is how the baby steps turn into walking and then into running and the running into leaping and suddenly there we are - on the mountain heights together!

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength,
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights"

Habakkuk 3:19

CeLEbrAtE!

Had a day worth celebrating - time with a dear friend accomplishing the "seemingly impossible" in so little time, with such sweet fellowship. A couple of hours straight from heaven!

Dinner reunion with a precious family who has endured much and continues to overcome much. These faithful warriors of the faith who just keep putting one foot in front of the other in simple, profound obedience. An evening filled with good food, lots of laughter, wise counsel and the presence of Jesus. The evening ended with a prayer from their handicapped, beautiful daughter - words mostly unintelligible, but touching us deeply. I think the heavens were moved by those sounds...

And now, as I lay tucked into my soft bed I watched this little video clip and was taken around the world with a dance of great delight... Click on the link and dance with me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNF_P281Uu4 sorry, can't seem to get the link but will try tomorrow!

Always...INVITATION!

Well, I have begun with baby steps...so small as to be almost imperceptible in this season of Lent. But He knows...and I know! But even in this tiny step, I felt Him asking - extending the invitation - to more. Again, if I am willing, it will be More of Him and less of me. He leaves it up to me entirely. How amazing and scary is that? Do I want more of Him? I have heard it said that we have as much of God as we want. That, of course, is my rather loose paraphrase. Because when I ponder the Song of Solomon, I am reminded of the portion where the Bridegroom runs ahead of the Bride, leaving her to roam the streets in search of her Beloved. He wants us to pursue Him, it's a beautiful picture. But it must be more than a picture in my life if I want to grow closer to Him, and ultimately more like Him...to be "conformed into the image of Christ". What a lofty challenge He leaves with us. But with every bit of enabling that is necessary - His grace is most sufficient. It costs our life though. Sigh.

OK- I do have a life other than trying to take baby steps in Lent. My friend helped me to post a picture of myself onto my blog. I had one there (how on earth I got it there is now beyond me) and then I deleted it. Now I am unable to put my picture back above my "intro" so this friend inserted it into a post for me. He also very kindly put a picture of my dog with her fancy surgical collar on one of my older posts. Unfortunately I was not here to witness the procedure so I am once again left to my own devices. It saddens me that I am so daft in some areas...and lazy when it comes to reading and deciphering cryptic sounding instructions that other people seem to be able to make sense of. Oh well - I will make it one of my goals to figure out my Mac which I have now owned for several years. I REALLY dislike reading instructions.

I am happy to report that I feel life returning to my bones and spirit - I feel motivated to be doing things which brings me immense pleasure. Baking, journaling, shopping, BLOGGING!! So I add to my list of 1000 GIFTS...

thanking you Jesus for days where I feel energy...
sunshine that warms my body and spirit
my sweet animals that bring me such amusement and joy
precious children to interact with and love
good food - a fridge & shelves speak of abundance
laughter - healing to the spirit
the ability to sleep better at night - a blessing not previously fully appreciated!
and on and on and on...

I will have eternity to thank my sweet Jesus, but it's good for me to do lots of it now!

"Next time a sunrise
steals your breath
or a meadow
of flowers
leaves you speechless,
remain that way.
Say nothing
and listen
as heaven whispers,
"Do you like it? I did it just for you."
Max Lucado

Marvelous day - blue sky, sunshine! Snow melting...ahhh, whispers of Spring.
Thank you Jesus.

I had quite the talk with Jesus today as I was driving through the orchards and lovely country side where I dwell. There wasn't quite so much talking actually...I began to weep when I realized how utterly selfish I am when it comes to fasting... Yeah, I'm still thinking about the Lent concept now that I've been reading about it on different blogs. God knows my weak nature, and He knows that He's all I've got. I love Him, I LOVE Him, but am I willing to give something up for Him? Oh man...my flesh is truly weak. It's just pathetic really. In the past I was able to fast much more easily - what is happening to me? But I will take baby steps...one day at a time. See if I am brave enough to ask Him at different times what to give up FOR HIM.

Blessed Jesus, you truly are worth it. Help me, help your precious Body - those ones who are seeking to put you first in really tangible ways during this season. Cause we really do want - need - desperately NEED that "Spirit of Wisdom & Revelation so that we may have the KNOWLEDGE of JESUS!" (Eph 1 - my paraphrase)

Thank you, that before we even ask, you have begun to answer!! What an utterly awesome and beautiful King you are.

Grace to LOVE HIM MORE...

I've been challenged this year in realizing the Lent season is almost upon us...even though I've never given much thought to Lent, having been brought up in a Mennonite church. And now I attend a church gathering that is very much more...um..."free" or full of all sorts of "expression". (Man, try explaining what your church is like! - I hope we all just start looking a whole lot more like Jesus and all that will matter is that we are a part of the Body of Christ!)

Anyways, back to the Lent subject...I find it a beautiful practice (in theory) because it reminds us to put the flesh to death so that the Spirit of Christ can have free reign in our mortal bodies. Glorious thought, but painful procedure, I have found on a personal level. As I was reading today in my "Everyday with Jesus Bible" (remember, the one that should be finished in a year but takes me several more??) I came upon some wonderful words out of Deuteronomy that put the whole practice of Lent, or any sort of fasting into perspective. Whatever we call it, it's really just about MORE OF HIM & LESS OF ME as far as I can see.

This is what God has to say on the subject of priorities...which Lent & fasting reminds me of:

"And now, Israel (Karen), what does the Lord your God ask of you except to fear the Lord your God by walking in all His ways, to love Him, and to worship the LORD your God with all your heart and all your soul? Keep the Lord's commands and statues I am giving you today, for your own good. The heavens, indeed the highest heavens, belong to the Lord your God as does the earth and everything in it....therefore, circumcise your hearts and don't be stiff'-necked any longer. For the Lord your God is the God of gods, and Lord of lords, the great, mighty, and awesome God...He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreign resident..." DEUTERONOMY 10:12-18

So, having said all of that, I must admit my complete weakness in trying to give anything up in my life right now. YEESH - I wish I was so much more Godly...so much more focused on HIM and not me. Physically it's been a very challenging year and I feel like I live a fasted lifestyle in so many ways...but does that give me any excuse? I'm even afraid to ask my Kind Father what He might want me to give up when He knows I just need more of Him. Anything He would tell me would be doable because His grace is sufficient so maybe I'll just do baby steps. I can't even imagine 40 days ofgiving up anything right now - but I want to love Him more. He'll show me...day by day and step by step how to do that. Grace…

Oh GLoRiouS SunSHiNe!

Gratefulness spills from my heart as I look out over the skeleton orchard outside my office window - naked trees & the ground still covered with snow but the sun gently coaxing the last remnants of winter to melt away. I heard joyous dripping sounds as I went outside to check on Jewel with her incision and her big collar. I saw her bounding through the orchard with another dog and was amazed, knowing she had her surgery just a few days ago. Has she forgotten? Does she not know she is supposed to be taking it easy and lounging in the sunshine? Has she no pain? I called her over to the house and she galloped through the still fairly deep snow with the greatest of glee, lept up onto the porch with ease and nudged up to me with her huge collar encased face. (She gets as close as she can with that huge cone). How does one reason with a dog? Oh she is a sweet thing - with a temperament I wish was mine. How is it that God made dogs with such Godly characteristics...most dogs that is.

Meanwhile, Mr. Tumnus our cat is slumbering on top of the hot tub...his lovely huge orange halo of hair keeping him warm. The animals are rejoicing at the warmer weather as well. Everyone is out having a party! What a winter it has been! Snow that usually disappears after a few days has lingered on since the end of November! I know I ought NOT to complain though seeing as I live in one of the most temperate spots in our fair country.

And complain I will not - I am blessed beyond measure and I am having such a lovely day. For some unexplicable reason I awoke with energy and I had a great time emptying garbages cans (oh how I LOVE garbage day....) baking pumpkin loaves, making bread with my skilled breadmaker (just popped it out and it's ever so lovely & brown) and making mud pie. The chicken is also sizzling in the oven for supper. Days like this are rare in my life so I must make an actual report when they happen.

I started something fun recently due to an idea I found on another blog. The concept is to journal "One Thousand Gifts" that God has graced your life with. The blog I got this idea off of is absolutely amazing. The author will take you to Jesus in so many ways, over and over again. She has very appropriately named her blog "The Holy Experience of Listening" and can be found at www.holyexperience.blogspot.com
I encourage you to visit her there.

Anyways, back to 1000 Gifts... when I read about this on the above blog, I decided to start this list of thanksgiving as well. I already have a "Journal of Blessings" where I write about the goodness of God to me and paste meaningful articles and notes people have given me, pictures, cards etc. Now I have begun my list of 1000 Gifts and it's great fun. Just making mention of the many many many blessings God pours into my life so constantly is such a good exercise. I've even got my Sunday School girls started!! They pasted the following verses into the little blessing books I gave them and this week they're starting their lists.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus"
1 Thessalonians 5:17

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father..." James 1:17

Jesus...my Jesus, you truly are the giver of every good & perfect gift in my life. Even the gifts I don't yet recognize, or the ones that come wrapped in packages that aren't immediately recognizable. I thank you and I want to exercise my spirit of thankfulness...in very tangible ways. Even as I derive great pleasure from the expressions of gratefulness my children show me for different things, I want to bring you great pleasure.

"May the Words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer" Psalm 19:14